"Take a deep breath," you said, as condescendingly as humanly possible to the donut lady who couldn't handle how to add our water and coffee together for payment. "And I'll direct you accordingly."
Brian Regan does an outstanding bit about the donut ladies, and how much pressure there is in ordering the perfect dozen donuts. We won't rip him off, don't worry.
But you, with your "I'm in junior high" rouge, and your neatly cropped Murphy Brown meets Jane from the Go-Go's hair, oh how we wanted to "accidentally direct our coffee accordingly" on you.
Who says "direct you accordingly," ever? Do you say this in bed? "Just sit there and I'll direct you accordingly." Do you say this to your hairdresser? Clearly not. Seriously? Next time please just order the donuts and shut the f*ck up.
At least the coffee was tasty and woke us up.
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