Thought of the day, part 3

There's nothing worse than waking up *ahead* of your alarm, all hellaexcited about the Honey Nut Cheerios you're about to pour so they can be all kinds of hellasoggy, only to open the cupboard door and see a big ol' shelf of emptiness.

Then you realize you ate the rest of your Honey Nut Cheerios yesterday morning and told yourself then to, "Remember to hit the store tonight to get more, and to buy carrots."

Defeated at 6:27 a.m., you realize that the coffee you just put on is worthless without the Honey Nut Cheerios, so you panic and lunge to turn it off.

Then you realize that you never plugged the coffee maker in, therefore the power is not on, thus signified by both the fact that the coffee maker isn't plugged in, and there is no light on. Light equals power, kids. Power is what makes the world go 'round. Well, that, and the CMB.

Then you wonder what the f*ck you're doing awake so early, with no Honey Nut Cheerios soggy goodness to speak of. Then you want to go back to bed, but you realize, "Hey! Jersey Boy! Go get you a bagel! Go on with your bedself!"

The you realize you typed "bedself" instead of "badself" and you smirk on your way to the shower about this slip, knowing you're actually losing it for real this time on this lovely, cold as a motherf*cker morning, and you could use a nap already.

Now you're ready to start with the carpe and the day, probably without anymore exclamation points and definitely with correct spelling and real words. And sadly, no nap.

This starting/seizing/goofing on the day will most definitely include a scalding hot coffee and a wheat oat bran bagel with tomato and a "li'l bit of veggie cream cheese" from the Jersey Boy.

And you know already they'll douse that sh*t like the weatherman called for one inch and we get 12, but you'll suck it down anyway, because it's breakfast, beeyatch.