Gaslight

The bartender who looks like he got lost on his way to Sturgis and ended up behind the bar instead of his hog. The Russian chick who knew all the words to every Metallica and Guns 'N F*cking Roses song. The martini tie guy across the bar. Old Man Snap. The two cute waitresses, one who looks like a Latina Phoebe Cates.

Everyone clapped. Sure, some did their best stand-up routines for the half-hour the plane was "landing in minutes," as stupid Fox said. "Wow they sure are f*cked. Heh heh. Another beer, barkeep?" Somebody even offered to open up a crash pool.

Fox kept that assinine banner on the bottom of the screen, and with the sound off, the entire bar kept thinking the plane was landing when it really was in Canadia still -- or hovering over the airport to ditch fuel and make sure the prayer count got to 3 million.

This pilot is one bad motherf*cker, though, and evidence that sometimes good things do happen, after all. Until tomorrow, of course, when Armageddon unleashes because God doesn't like poor, well, just because.