I learned how to tie a tie in 30 hot seconds

John Roy is funny.

We used to say things like, "He's a good guy," and then everyone was all, "Bid him!" and then we'd all hug tenderly and sing the first verse of "Goodnight Saigon," followed by a garbled second verse because no one knew the words.

Then your formerly lavaliered ex-girlfriend would throw beer at you and slap you because your new girlfriend emerged from your bedroom during the party in your shorts and t-shirt, and you followed her out of the room, hair disheveled, shirtless, and drinking a 40 of O-mothereffing-E mothereffer.

Then the brothers, real men, all, would band together and kick said ex out of the party after she'd cry in the kitchen for a good 20 minutes.

And since you had brothers, you manned up and drank more Natty Ice, after pouring the remnants of the O-mothereffing-E onto the chapter room floor for your homies.

Then after you'd graduate, one of your other brothers would take it too far and try the oral on his roommate and then it was one big brotherly mess.

YAY FRAT STORIES!