Shafted. Again

We hear at Porch and the Parking Lot believe that Ol' Man Snap got the ol' damn shaft by People Magazine and its stupid Sexiest Man Alive issue.

Now, we recognize that the gentleman named has fantastic abs, a great smile and hair that blows in the wind just right -- if you're into that sort of thing, which OMS clearly is not, he tells us. We understand that his sweet and smooth southern drawl with a tinge of cockiness makes the ladies melt, but that's all beside the point.

OMS was robbed.

Sure, he doesn't possess the uncanny ability to appear on the TV and make women's panties bunch up while they're folding them, maybe, but OMS does have a devilish grin, good hair, and the greatest strength a man can possess: the ability to drink all ya'll motherf*ckers under the table. When he's drinking, that is.

And he can do voices. He cooks a mean broccoli and cheese omelet. He likes him some jazz and enjoys playing guitar beneath a full moon. He takes excellent naps and is prone to laugh at awfully inappropriate times.

Most of all, OMS is a sexy beast. A damn sexy beast.

Contact you some People Magazine, ya'll, and demand a recount.