Establishing extended indebtedness

About four years ago, Ol' Man Snap sent an email to a group of friends.

It was a story about how he went to his local Quick Check for a cup of coffee and promptly spilled it all over himself, and how angry he was that his lady-enducing scent was Irish Creme instead of his usual chick-magnet smell.

But then he spent the afternoon interviewing a World Trade Center survivor with a beautiful wife and two awesome, awesome kids. The man stared blankly while he questioned, openly, why he was alive and his friends at Morgan Stanley weren't. The man reminded Jimmy Olsen Snap that life is indeed something we all take for granted way too much.

And how cliche is it to write about this on the day before Thanksgiving? It's as non-original as news agencies reporting that there will be traffic delays today and HUGE SALES on Friday. But deal.

Therefore, today's entree will be all encompassing. Between family time over the holidays and hunting time starting Sunday (awwwww hell yeah the Ol' Man is gonna shoot him a buck by gawd), there may or may not be another entry between now and next Wednesday.

We know. You can't live without this. It keeps you going. It keeps you strong.

But never fear, kids. Today the Ol' Man will establish extended indebtedness (points for originality, he knows). This includes a game (!). You pick out the Heroez and Not So Much with the Heroez contained herein the indebtedness message.

Confused? Good. Welcome to the club. And buckle up.

The Ol' Man extends indebtedness for/to/about/regarding:

The media. For covering this. And this. When the Ol' Man turned 14, he called a sex line from his parents' tenant's apartment phoneline and then blamed his best friend Isaac for giving him the number. "Hello," said the sweet, soothing, sexy voice in San Francisco. "Click," said the intrigued, then panic-stricken fat kid.

Cavett. Because he rules.

The guy on the side of the road this morning who took a leak in broad effing daylight. Because he made the Ol' Man's day and reminded him of yesteryear, when peeing in the backyard was considered A-OK. What's that? It never was? Oh. His bad.

The twitching car insurance salesman yesterday whose idea of fixing his computer problem was tapping his right hand on his desk, repeatedly, while uttering, "I'm so sorry; I don't know the problem but this happens all the time" and looking like he was about to burn his office to the ground. Because he put the day in perspective.

The virus on the Ol' Man's laptop that forced him to delete certain "files." Because he already knows how.

Things like this. Because Praise Jesus, godd*amn the Lord has a sense of humor.

People to goof on. Like Maverick. And him. Because life is a li'l more gooder when we have assclowns like this to look at and say, "Huh. Sooooooo glad that's not me."

Grey's Anatomy. Because it's a pretty good show and it has fantastic eye candy (the latter link because OMS has him some readers who are dames, not because he wants Dr. McDreamy's hair).

Eye candy in general. Grrrrllllll. Because. Just because.

Bill Burr, who the Ol' Man is seeing Friday night. Because he is a funny motherf*cker. And no, it's not pesto.

Li'l Jimmy, who the Ol' Man's friends are all going to see Saturday night. Because he is a funny motherf*cker, too. And he's on his way.

If the Ol' Man can be serious for a moment, he also remains indebted to his friends and family, too, who at the end of the day are pretty much the most fabulous people on earth.

So Delightful Failure Day to one and all. And wish the Ol' Man luck when he's off in the woods this year, not breaking out in hives while hunting the enemy.