Let's play a game

Let's call this "Inside the Lede."

Now the Ol' Man admits, readily, that he is out of journalistic practice. He hasn't written a news story in years. But he still considers himself a news junkie (HAH! You thought he'd use that other word...). So his opinion matters. A lot.

So here's the thing about the word "apparently" when you're trying to bring the funny in your ledes. When you find yourself typing a, then p, then another p, then an a... just stop right there. And when you find yourself quoting song lyrics as the actual lede, and ending the punchline with "after all" in the name of entertainment, well, quit your day job.

Good journalism means the writing doesn't get in the way of the story, it enhances it. So when you're writing about J-to-the-L-O, kids, avoid temptation. Don't go to her hit, er, hits. Stay away from things like:

1. Apparently she wasn't fooled by those rocks that she (has) after all.

2. She apparently lives her life to the limit and she loves it, so she can breathe again baby now she can breathe again after all.

3. She's apparently waiting for tonight, oh-whoa, for you to take her into your arms after all.

And so on. Now let's not mince words over how many Lopez lyrics the Ol' Man can kick. Let's focus, rather, on the lesson learned: No song lyrics. Ever. No after alls, ever. And just because you say apparently doesn't make it more funny.

Come on, people, feel the noise.