Sunday, September 09, 2007

Um. Huh. Well. See. But. Huh. Wow. Damn.

Live blogging the VMAs!* So about the whole Britney comeback thing...

Brit-Brit is all-all look-look at my somewhat flat stomach and mommy hips and my push-up bra and I'm not even going to look like I'm even trying to lip sync, y'all, and watch my sweet dancer moves and oops! Look! I almost flashed my good girl and I'm still dancing with barely any clothes on and hey, why does every random shot of a celebrity in the audience make them look bored and somewhat mocking me and look, y'all, I grabbed this nice gay boy's junk and yup, I'm still on stage and sheesh, this dancing thing is tiring, y'all and look, here's my booty and I know there are strippers at Golden Palace or Adult Playhouse or Scores that have better or at least comparable moves and why am I so scared on the inside these days I think I'm so cracking and thank God for Jenna Jameson and Courtney Love or I'd be so winning the death pool and seriously about the strip clubs, seriously, please hire me I think my career is so over and man, I'm tired, y'all. I can't wait to get off this stage and suck down another back-up danc, er, I mean, Red Bull and I can't wait 'til Sarah Silverman comes on stage and destroys me, y'all!

*Not live blogging them anymore. This sh*t is so ridiculously self-felatiating. And man, when did John Norris become Flea and what's up with the eyeshadow?

1 comment:

Matt Katz said...

hahaha...i read this twice.

i can't believe you're not watching futbol.