Read the Comments!

(A loyal and too pretty reader suggested we repost this because it was HIIIIlarious).

Dear Commerce Bank Guy,

Oh no you didn't. No you didn't just wave a stupid effing Commerce Bank flier in our effing face when all we wanted was an effing bagel and effing coffee and to be effing left alone. We don't want your effing business. You represent one of like 18 banks in our effing town AND you replaced one of our favorite effing bars with your big stupid red C'd building and plush parking. You're a white guy in a suit waving fliers and we almost punched you in the face. Do people really decide their financial futures based on Jimmy Stewart in a suit over there? Eff, no. But oh with the fliers. Rule of thumb: if we don't make eye contact, which annoys us because we *always* make eye contact, then don't come at us us with your effing flier. Keep it pocketed and don't be all up in our sh*t. Commerce Bank sucks, Commerce Bank Guy. Now choke on that, slapnuts. EFF.

There. All better.