Wait. Lindsay. Let's take it slow.

So Old Man Snap is on a school bus. The school bus stops at a political rally. At this rally, Lindsay Lohan comes under verbal attack. OMS saves her with his sharp tongue (hey now).

Ms. Lohan gets on the bus to leave the rally and sits on the front seat. Old Man Snap tickles her freckled arm and she says, "You're so my new hero."

The bus stops in a vacant lot. OMS says, "Now are you ready?" Ms. Lohan says she's only 19, but that the age difference doesn't matter. "The way you touch me, you make me feel," she says.

Old Man Snap and Lindsay Lohan skip off the bus and, clutching each other closely, look for seclusion. Strangely, the paparazzi are nowhere to be found.

"I can't wait any longer," Lindsay Lohan says as she thrusts her tongue toward Old Man Snap.

Shocked, OMS may have audibly gasped. Next thing he knows, he's not with Ms. Lohan, but Brenda from Six Feet Under. We won't describe the next scene. Let's just say thank you, Brenda from Six Feet Under.