Turn around, now

We need to tune in more to things that really matter in the world, we know.

This is especially true when Ashlee Simpson tells us in our dream to "turn around, now" and we wake up to see the clock read 6:59, turn on the Imus and listen to the top of the hour news. It's pretty f*cked up when your "pay attention" reminder comes in the form of a robed Ashlee Simpson, we know.

Contrast that to last night, when we scanned through 368 pictures posted on the Yahoo! from the Sundance in a blatant effort to *ignore* all the world's issues.

Granted, She's still hot, though, in a non-obsessive way. Like, smoking-can't-wait-to-see-Match-Point hot. But we digress as usual. Point is, things that matter. We owe it to ourselves to learn more about why the world is ending and when. Ashlee says so.

Now that we're hellaconfused about Ashlee and world politics and sleep and Scarlett, we might as well look back on the week that was and smirk cynically. Sometimes we cry because it's manly and the world is ending, but whatever, it also means the weekend is here and it's high time the band got back together. But more on that later.

Heroez
Katie puts the real in Real World, ya'll. "So basically you know we had to push the f*cking fake rock." Priceless.

Couldn't afford a car so she named her daughter Alexus. Kanye haters, shhhhh. He's just mixin' some dope rhymes, is all.

We like us some Scoops.

Better late than never. You go, girl. (Do the kids still say this?).

We stand behind his right to say this, and hope no one starts throwing rocks at the ol' porch. God forbid somebody say something the least bit inflammatory about our troops or this clusterf*ck of a war (and that's what it is, right? We're still there? Shooting things? Blowing sh*t up? And there are enemies doing these things, too?). OMS supports our troops, but Mr. Stein certainly has a point. It's a jumbled and HEY LOOK AT ME and kind of saying it just to say it point, but a point nonetheless.

Speaking of, the Dixie Chicks have an album coming out in April. We still stand beside Natalie and can't believe country radio f*cked them way back in ought-two. America is about a free voice. That's what makes us so the best country ever and the end all be all in this wacky world we call Earth. U-S-A, No. 1! Iran, Russia, hockphtooey!

Not so much...
The meek shall inherit the earth, Fox. So be careful of this making fun of the freaks. We remember Columbine and the trenchcoat mafia and how on April 20, 1999, a roomful of reporters watched the coverage and every single one of us, er, them, acknowledged they wore trenchcoats in high school. Meek. Freak. Geek. It's all the same.

Oh the irony if this is true-true, Hoo-Hoo.

Top Jimmy. He's the king.

Commies. Every single one of 'em (and no, we ain't talkin' 'bout them there protesters, there).

Money. 'Tis indeed a drag.

Katie. You were *fantastic* in The Gift. Why the splicing and dicing? We can't wait until the post-Tom comback. You're so covering Playboy in 2009.