1. Who practices cheerleading on the ab mat? Seriously really, really gay/really, really ripped guy and your partner? You two were cute and all on the mat, with the loud talking and the almost crashing on seven different occassions into the glass separating the workout floor from the aerobics room. It was cute at first, then dangerous. General rule of thumb at the gym: don't hoist a hottie over your head at the gym and leave her dangling in the wind with the risk of face-planting on plexiglass. Ever.
2. Why, sir, did you insist on gulping down what we thought was a power drink in the locker room? Why, sir, was this alleged power drink a cup of ziti? Seriously. Ziti. It was free with pizza tonight for some reason. You ate it like a protein shake. Ew.
3. A plea to all men everywhere: please don't wear red bikini briefs and prance from the showers to your locker in plain sight of everyone. Please. Just don't.
And thus we conclude the three things you never need at the gym.
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