Our first time lasted longer

We made it about 45 seconds into the opening montage for the Golden Globes tonight, then we screamed, sort of like the way we do when the President gives national addresses. Ech. "Don'tcha" wasn't ever really our favorite song to begin with, but rhyming anything with "Russell's left hook" is, well, brutal.

But follow that up with a correlation between the dreams of a true leader and the so-called "Dream Factory" of Hollywood, well, oof. Hollywood, please get your d*ck out of your mouth.

The only reason the awards show is still on our TV tonight is we keep hearing words like Natalie, Portman, Jessica, Alba, Michelle, Williams, George and Clooney. (And Sandra Oh just won something! YAY!).

* Some things to clarify: 1) re: the headline, technically "Like a Hurricane" is a six-minute song on Neil Young's Unplugged album. Six minutes is a long time. So is three, come to think of it; 2) George Clooney is a hottie. Back off; and 3) We forgive Hollywood for fallatiating itself over and over again for at least one reason tonight. You guess what that one reason is.

(Photo by Lucy Nicholson, Reuters. Nice work with that, Lucy).