Three things that cracked us the f*ck up recently

Best nicest joke bomb response ever, at our off-probation watering hole earlier tonight: "Well, it's only my first beer so maybe it'll be funnier after a few more."
***
Meanwhile, back at the Subway:

Guy in suit: "(Pause) Do you think JonBenet's killer did it?"
Other guy in suit: "(Pause) No."
Guy in suit: "(Silence)."
Other guy in suit: "(Nothin')."
***
Overheard on the way to our off-probation watering hole earlier tonight: "No, Jaime, I'm not trying to start sh*t with you. Will you just f*cking listen to me? I'm not trying to start sh*t with you."

And END SCENES.