How to be a God-awful suck-up in 12 easy steps

Step 1: See boss from 300 feet away.
Step 2: Slow down when you reach the building, because speeding up may make it look like you're avoiding him/her because of the alleged flare-up from a month ago that hopefully is over because, let's face it, you gots to pay your bills.
Step 3: Hold door open for woman who is not your boss. Chivalry and what not.
Step 4: Procrastinate and linger.
Step 5: OH! There he/she is! Open inside door and hold with foot. Lean back and hold outside door open with arm.
Step 6: Say "Good morning" while balancing between doors.
Step 7: Make small talk.
Step 8: Don't avoid eye contact.
Step 9: Wish him/her a nice day.
Step 10: Race up the stairs because not racing up the stairs means his/her elevator trip will land him/her right in front of you when you walk out of the stairwell and hilarity ensues all over again.
Step 11: Try to regain your breath before you have to say good morning to five people on the way to your cube.
Step 12: Sit in cube. Check email. Look busy.