9:09 and the first "Oh Jesus Christ" has already been yelled

A couple of quick thoughts about the President's big ol' speech over there.

1. Charlie Gibson sounds like a nice fella. I do miss Peter Jennings. Don't we all?

2. What's up with Stepanopo -- Stefanapo -- George's huge mic?

3. Who the f*ck does the backwards shake with the left hand? Please, Mr. President, just do the regular right-handed firm handshake. Backwards left-handed handshakes suck and no one likes people who do them. No one.

4. Who yelled "WOOOOOOOOOO" when the president was first introduced? Ew.

5. What's up with the sustained applause?

6. Is Nancy Pelosi a MILF?

7. The right of custom blah blah blah courage is needed blah blah blah we must have the will to face difficult challenges blah blah blah something about enemies blah blah blah blah blah blah to solve problems not leave them for future generations.

Wait. What? I thought that's all this administration was about, this leaving problems for future generations. And how come he hasn't mentioned terrrrrrists yet?

Alright, here endeth the Porch and the Parking Lot's non-award winning coverage of the president's State of the Union speech. Something about needing to turn the TV off before the throwing up in the mouth begins. Again.

Good night. And good luck.