Wednesday, May 09, 2007

So there was your hero, standing, shoulders back and manly, in the 15 items or less express line. With a jar of pomade in front of him.

And nothing else.

Hair product. Not milk. Nor toothpaste. Hair product.

Nine minutes in line waiting for the cashier to figure out how to ring up oats for the person two people in front of me. And then with the grabbing the hot chick behind me's eggs while ringing up the pomade, this clueless cashier.

"Oh, no," I said. "Just the hair product."

And then I smiled, meekly, and went about my business.

"Oh," hot chick said behind me. "You forgot this."

I'd left the pomade on the counter, neatly wrapped in a small paper bag. Lucky for me, I was grabbing the six-pack I'd already bought when I forgot said product.

If I didn't have the six-pack, I really might've just packed it in and given up for good.

3 comments:

Old Man Snap said...

And now, further proof that Old Man Snap is 32-losing his-mind:

"I'm not fat," said the cash register as he walked by with his newly-purchased coffee.

OMS swears he heard the cash register say, "I'm not fat."

Help. Please help.

Old Man Snap said...

AND... in keeping with the theme of the week, OMS is one fat bastard these days.

So commence training.

Last night, OMS "ran" for 30 minutes around the ol' neighborhood. Thank God for downhill running.

The theory is he'll be getting up at this normal time (6:30ish) on the weekdays and running on Monday, Wednesday and Fridays. And hey! He might even blog about it!

This will cut into the myspacing and the porning and all of these things, but hey, it's almost summer, bitches, and OMS needs to get his lean on.

Old Man Snap said...

Oh. And it's all about the eating habits:

1. No mid-day Twix bars anymore.
2. More asparagus.
3. Ice cream only once a week, before Grey's -- which ends next week anyway.
4. Guinness/Blue Moon, Grohl's, and Stella can stay.
5. Mmmmmmm. Stella.
6. More crunches/push-ups at night.
7. More tomatoes.
8. Less complaining.
9. Less jiggling.

There. That's a start. OMS did this in 2002 and it worked. Let's see how it works five years and 20 pounds later. Good times.