So this is how we hunt

0500 hours Up and attem, boy. Time to get us a buck, yessir.

0624 Here we are, positioned up here against the tree here. We’re sportin’ our orange gear and work boots cuz it’s gonna be warm in these here parts today. Our rifle is loaded. We’ll get us a buck, yessir.

0652 Heard shots off there in the distance, there. Ain’t seen sh*t near us, though.

0724.18 Startin’ the list of people we had sex with over the years, then.

0724.27 Finished list of people we had sex with over the years, then.

0732 Visualizin’ our next set at them there open mic nights.

0800 zzzzzzzzzz

0818 Musta dozed off there a bit. Thinkin’ ‘bout how pretty that there sun looks, there.

0842 Stretchin’ our legs, there.

0848 Motorboat, Scarlett. Motorboat.

0915 Standin’ up. Stretchin’ some more. Think we hear a squirrel haven sex nearby.

0922 Squirrel’s still chirpin’. Boy he’s a goer.

0932 Seriously with the squirrel? If we didn’t know any better, we’d be thinkin’ that varmint is tryin’ to blow up our spot.

0945 Engagin’ the squirrel in rock battle. Missed the li’l bastard with the last toss.

0948 zzzzzzzzzzz

1012 Huh. What. Who. What was that? A rock fallin' from a tree. Daggum. We’ll get that there squirrel there.

1015 Success, yessir. Take that ya li’l bastard. Teach you to toss stones at us from them there trees.

1032 This cheese ‘n cracker sure tastes good.

1048 So does this here banana.

1130 Walkin’ back to the truck now for lunch. Ain’t seen no buck yet. But we will, yessir.

1142 Eatin' our bagel and our hard-boiled eggs. Sippin’ our Diet Pepsi here. Waitin’ to get back in them there woods.

1155 Back to the woods we go.

1215 That daggum squirrel is back. Man he chirps a lot.

1217 Walkin’ up the mountain for a better spot, here.

1239 Sh*t. Them rocks sure is slippery. We done banged our knee off that sumbitch. Ow.

1300 zzzzzzzzzz

1328 Who the. What the.

1405 Movin’ along now. No buck yet, but we seen a hoofprint on the trail a ways back, there.

1445 Up the mountain we go. There we are around a bear den, seems. Nothin’ doin’, though.

1525 This sure is a big mountain to be hikin’ up like this here.

1540 Now then. This here is the spot. We can feel them deer’ll be a-comin’.

1550 We been out here nine hours. Ain’t seen sh*t ‘cept some yappy squirrel and a butterfly. Where them damn deer at.

1555 We got this here camera videophone. Seems to be workin’ real good. We just filmed our rifle here and our cheese ‘n cracker. Goods eats, they is.

1605 No deer and 30 minutes left. Well we’ll be daggumed.

1622 Here we are walkin’ back to the truck then. Ain’t seen a daggum buck all daggum day.

1655 hours No we’s back at the bar, then. This here Genesee Cream Ale sure hits the spot.

And END SCENE.