An open letter to Mr. Timberlake

Dear Mr. Timberlake,

Can I call you JT? No? Um. OK. Well, just writing you to inform you that my boy JZ, and yes, I can call him that, is not interested in your sloppy seconds. He asked me to tell you that if you want to romp around, abs-ablazin', in your videos with Ms. Scarlett, that's your peroga preroga per, sh*t, prerogative.

But, he asks, please inform Ms. Scarlett that she's now off the list of potential lead actors for JZ's planned hit-video for "Leaving Logan" in 2012. It's a shame, because JZ so would have made out with her more than you did in *your* video.

Good day, sir.

- OMS