Oh that Piven

See? The Ol' Man really does read the articles.

Now, then. Is he for real?

From this month's Playboy Interview:

PLAYBOY: How good a friend is Lindsay Lohan, who was photographed posing in her bikini -- or was it her underwear -- at your birthday party?

PIVEN: Here's the mistake I made. Some people approached me and said, "Can we throw you a birthday party?" I said, "Oh, no thanks. I'm going to throw myself a birthday party. Thank you, though." They said, "You don't have to pay. Let us throw you this birthday party at a house on the beach in Malibu." I said, "Can I bring my drums and my friends?" I'm this punk-ass from Chicago, thinking, like a wide-eyed stupid bitch, You're gonna throw me a party? Turned out it was a fucking photo op, that's all. I'm just a stupid-ass motherfucker. I went to the party. I had a 5:30 call the next morning. I didn't have a drop of alcohol. I can't do cocaine. I don't have that constitution physically. If I go out and have a few glasses of red wine, they report on me as if I'm out there slaying it. Lindsay Lohan rolls in for one second, I say hello, someone takes a picture, it gets in People magazine, and it looks as if I'm hanging out with Lindsay. I don't hang out with Lindsay Lohan, man. She's a sweet girl, but there's nothing going on. They're just trying to sell magazines. They're trying to create scandal.