First headline we read this morning

Britney's Crotch Shots Take Web by Storm

We won't bother posting the pictures. They're, um, easily findable.

We tend to enjoy messes like this, but come on, whatever happened to tucking and showing a little old fashioned decency?

So this is how we hunt

0500 hours Up and attem, boy. Time to get us a buck, yessir.

0624 Here we are, positioned up here against the tree here. We’re sportin’ our orange gear and work boots cuz it’s gonna be warm in these here parts today. Our rifle is loaded. We’ll get us a buck, yessir.

0652 Heard shots off there in the distance, there. Ain’t seen sh*t near us, though.

0724.18 Startin’ the list of people we had sex with over the years, then.

0724.27 Finished list of people we had sex with over the years, then.

0732 Visualizin’ our next set at them there open mic nights.

0800 zzzzzzzzzz

0818 Musta dozed off there a bit. Thinkin’ ‘bout how pretty that there sun looks, there.

0842 Stretchin’ our legs, there.

0848 Motorboat, Scarlett. Motorboat.

0915 Standin’ up. Stretchin’ some more. Think we hear a squirrel haven sex nearby.

0922 Squirrel’s still chirpin’. Boy he’s a goer.

0932 Seriously with the squirrel? If we didn’t know any better, we’d be thinkin’ that varmint is tryin’ to blow up our spot.

0945 Engagin’ the squirrel in rock battle. Missed the li’l bastard with the last toss.

0948 zzzzzzzzzzz

1012 Huh. What. Who. What was that? A rock fallin' from a tree. Daggum. We’ll get that there squirrel there.

1015 Success, yessir. Take that ya li’l bastard. Teach you to toss stones at us from them there trees.

1032 This cheese ‘n cracker sure tastes good.

1048 So does this here banana.

1130 Walkin’ back to the truck now for lunch. Ain’t seen no buck yet. But we will, yessir.

1142 Eatin' our bagel and our hard-boiled eggs. Sippin’ our Diet Pepsi here. Waitin’ to get back in them there woods.

1155 Back to the woods we go.

1215 That daggum squirrel is back. Man he chirps a lot.

1217 Walkin’ up the mountain for a better spot, here.

1239 Sh*t. Them rocks sure is slippery. We done banged our knee off that sumbitch. Ow.

1300 zzzzzzzzzz

1328 Who the. What the.

1405 Movin’ along now. No buck yet, but we seen a hoofprint on the trail a ways back, there.

1445 Up the mountain we go. There we are around a bear den, seems. Nothin’ doin’, though.

1525 This sure is a big mountain to be hikin’ up like this here.

1540 Now then. This here is the spot. We can feel them deer’ll be a-comin’.

1550 We been out here nine hours. Ain’t seen sh*t ‘cept some yappy squirrel and a butterfly. Where them damn deer at.

1555 We got this here camera videophone. Seems to be workin’ real good. We just filmed our rifle here and our cheese ‘n cracker. Goods eats, they is.

1605 No deer and 30 minutes left. Well we’ll be daggumed.

1622 Here we are walkin’ back to the truck then. Ain’t seen a daggum buck all daggum day.

1655 hours No we’s back at the bar, then. This here Genesee Cream Ale sure hits the spot.

And END SCENE.

And now back to quoting health papers we wrote in 1991 and got B-pluses on

On sexual orientation:

People should be free to do whatever they want with whoever they wish to do it with. It should be that person's decision, not another person's opinion, of what to do. So if I might see a homosexual couple walking down the street, then my opinion of them should not concern them. I am somewhat prejudice of homosexuals because I would fear a situation of being come on to.

Um. Yeah. Not proud. Not in the least.

But hey! Seems we even mentioned a Scott Baio movie on the HBO that taught us a good lesson about the homosexuals.

Scott Baio's best friend in the movie was gay, and everyone turned against him. Scott was warned by all to stay away from the "fag," but eventually he realized this guy was his best friend and he had to stick with him. This is an example of true, mature friendship, something I hope that I can accomplish in a given situation.

But then back to being so, so ashamed of young man homophobe:

If a homosexual walked up to me on the street, I would most definitely steal away quickly, feeling threatened.

Steal where, now? Our teacher admired our honesty, but we needed to use more facts from the reading (i.e. percentages, the genetic factor, etc.).

And now back to guess who said this?

"There's a lot of sectarian violence taking place, fomented in my opinion because of the attacks by al Qaeda, causing people to seek reprisal."

*sigh*

We're changing with the '90s

HEY! Look! OMS is new and improved and refreshed and hip like the kids do!

What, pretell did she mean?

Masseuse at the reputable hair salon, today, to us: Is there anything that needs more work? Is there anything we haven't touched yet that you'd like us to?

Yeah. But did we mention the hunting part?

So we came back from the big ol' excursion to the Outer Banks (Mom: "Is it raining where you are? Because there's a Nor'easter and we might lose power") and the huntin' (Dad: "You need more bullets than just one") and got ourselves a day of pampering.

Midway through the day o' pamperin', the shampoo lady asked us if we waxed.

It was more like, "Oh, do you wax that?"

*That* being the unfortunate hair we grow between our eyebrows. *That* is something we've *plucked* for at least seven years now.

Ew. Do we wax that.

Wax this, beeyatch.

GONE FISHIN'

So we're off on vacation. What? You think we've been slacking off around here? Now wait, you. We've been bringing the funny for more than a year now. Did we tell you about the time we put the milk in the cupboard? Again?

HAH! Now gets-a-laughin'.

Anyway, we're off to parts unknown near a beach for the Thanksgiving holiday, and we're following that up with the annual (we thought it was every two years but oops were we ever mistaken) hunting trip with the old man's ol' man. This time, we might even leave the rifle in the car and just arm ourselves with a banana or crackers or some sh*t.

So yeah, vacation, and then we'll be back with tales of how we probably blasted our Godson with a geetar shot, Honky Tonk Man-style.

In the meantime, more signs the world is ending.

*sigh*, um, again

From today's Star-Ledger. Did we mention that if we were to teach somewhere in the higher education system and if one of our students were to have written "u" recently on a homework assignment, three times, well, nevermind.

(Side note: we think we just heard a weak ass car crash nearby. Like a mini-squeal of the tires and the a, well, oof, was the sound the car made. Random).

Anyway, back to why we think the world is ending sooner than later...

BY CHANDRA M. HAYSLETT
Star-Ledger Staff
Tia Burnett couldn't believe what she was seeing when students started turning in work that looked more like an instant message conversation than an English assignment.

Some of her students at Orange High School in Essex County started sneaking abbreviations -- "u" for "you," "2" for "to" and "4" for "for" -- into their papers and other class assignments.

Burnett quickly put a stop to it.

"I would remind students not to use abbreviations in writing. This is casual e-mail language," said Burnett, who is in her first year as supervisor of language arts for grades 7-12. "Teachers need to constantly drive home the need to be specific about the difference between informal and formal writing."

Teachers, administrators and businesspeople say abbreviations commonly used in e-mails, instant messaging and mobile phone text messages are creeping into assignments and formal writing, and some believe it's hurting the way students think.

Tom Moran, English supervisor at East Brunswick High School in Middlesex County said the speed of electronic communication has "infected" some students' writing.

"E-mails are usually composed at lightning speeds, without any concern about editing, clarity or word choice," Moran said. "This is fine, since most e-mails are not meant to stand alone as polished pieces of prose. The problem arises when students begin thinking at that speed without pausing to consider what, exactly, they are saying."

The volume of electronic communication is growing at a startling pace. During the first six months of this year, 64.8 billion text messages were sent, nearly double the first half of 2005.

Amanda Lenhart, senior research specialist at the Pew Internet & American Life Project, which explores the Internet's impact, said 74 percent of teenagers have instant messaged.

The effects vary, scholars say. In Canada, two university professors concluded there is no adverse effect on syntax or the formation of sentences.

In the study, University of Toronto linguistics professors Derek Denis and Sali Tagliamonte found that although students may be text messaging, most messages don't contain abbreviated words.

"In our corpus of over a million words, all the IM forms accounted for only about 2 percent," Denis said, noting they studied 70 teens during 2004 and 2005. "Though these teens are using more informal language than in their speech, they are also using more formal variables as well.

"This tells us that teens are using English vibrantly, creatively and are able to use it correctly."

That may be the case for Canadian teens, but Rutgers University lecturer Alex Lewis says he must teach freshmen basic writing mechanics and grammar in his expository writing course.

"These kids spend an enormous amount of time writing, but their formal understanding of writing is limited," Lewis said. Because so much writing is e-mailing and IM-ing, Lewis said, that informal style follows into the classroom.

Bob Killian, CEO of the Chicago-based advertising firm Killian and Co., said he has received so many résumés from college graduates who can't write, he will publish a book of the 200 worst samples.

"I have dozens of cover letters that illustrate any number of problems with spelling and grammar," Killian said. "IM-ing is just the latest fad in the wrinkle of things that can go wrong. You should be shocked and amazed, but you aren't anymore."

George Martin, supervisor of English at Plainfield High School, said students are using IM words in the Union County school and teachers have been letting students know when the abbreviations are acceptable or not.

"If it's informal writing and it's brainstorming, we don't have a problem with it. But if it's writing for HSPA (High School Proficiency Assessment) or the SAT prep, then it's not appropriate," Martin said.

Naomi Baron, professor of linguistics at American University in Washington, D.C., who has researched the language of IM-ing and texting, said getting students to realize their audience is key.

"If you simply teach there are ways to use writing, students will get it," Baron said. "I get students who write 'BTW' for 'by the way,' but it only happens once."

Baron pointed out that some IM and texting abbreviations have histories that predate the computer revolution -- "w/" for 'with,' for instance -- and are likely to remain a part of language.

"I would not be surprised to see some of these abbreviations around several decades from now," Baron said. "Similarly, an abbreviation such as 'LOL' (laugh out loud) or 'BTW' (by the way) might stick, while others, such as 'OMG' (oh my God) or 'IMHO' (in my humble opinion) might pass -- through the luck of the draw."

Ew. Do boys really talk like this?

Overheard at one of our favorite watering holes last night. And by "overheard" we mean even though they were right next to us, we probably could've heard their drunk shout-talk from across the bar.

(Huh. "And musical guest... Drunk Shout-Talk!").

Guy 1: Yeah, man. She had some of those flapjack t*tties on her. Like she would lie down and they'd just disappear.

Guy 2: What. She needs like a foundation or some sh*t to hold them up and keep them in place where they belong. Like bricks or some sh*t. Like some sturdy bricks, you know? A foundation...

G1: All I know is they have some miraculous bras out there.

G2: Yup.

Um. Yeah. T*tties?

We do a bad ass impression of Dave Matthews

Thanks to MJ, and yes, we mean our friend MJ and not the one who used to slice the hearts out of Cleveland fans with sick fadeaways.

Aries Spears is pretty much the motherf*cking man. Where his dawgs at, indeed.

We pledge to not cover this. At all. Like, never.

Cruise Spotted Leaving Hotel in Rome

'Twas the headline on the ol' optonline news feed for the email. Seriously? WOW! An overrated douchebag left his hotel! Oh the humanity! He's walking! He's running like he does in every single one of his motion pictures! He's motioning! He's picturing!

Ugh. We still have hope for this world. Sort of but not really at all anymore. Tom Cruise leaving a hotel room in Rome. Unless he's leaving Roberto's room in a towel or some sh*t, sans Katie, we have no use for this or any other Tom Cruise news.

Capiche?

Pretty much our new favorite performer of all time

One minute in. Man. You feel that?

Meanwhile, back in line at the Post Office

So we're 20-deep in line at the post office yesterday, rolling our eyes and sighing as appropriate. Then the old lady walks up behind us. Mind you, we're standing in the lobby outside of the door to the actual Post Office part of the Post Office.

"Do you think the people behind the counter speak English?" she said, loudly. "I mean, I agree with the man in Philadelphia who put up that sign, don't you?"

We turned around to find a li'l old lady who looked like Mr. Magoo in a rain slicker. We half-expected her to say she's proud we "bombed the Japs."

We looked her up and down, didn't say a word, and resumed sighing, passive-aggressive blogger we are.

Speaking of, don't even get us started on the guy in line with the cell phone ring.

"ANYWAY YOU WANT IT THAT'S THE WAY YOU NEED IT ANYWAY YOU WANT IT."

And repeat. Don't answer. Just repeat five or so times.

*sigh*

Why journalism is dying a slow, painful, death, and this makes us sad -- lkie,really saddd

Presidents, civil rights icons, celebrities and ordinary citizens gathered today on the National Mall, where construction is getting under way for a $100 milllion monument honoring Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. The monument will be built on a four-acre site near the Lincoln Memorial, where King delivered his famous "I Have a Dream " speech in 1963.

Important story. Glaring typo. All the news that's blah blah blah. Thanks, CNN. You had this gem on the Web site around lunchtime Monday. Good times.

You know, one day, if we keep naming penguins Elvis and putting li'l blue booties on they feets, then, well, y'all know they're going to strike back

Right?

From Reuters: A penguin called Elvis wears a new pair of blue shoes at the Antarctic Centre's Penguin Encounter display in Christchurch, November 7, 2006. Elvis and 16 other penguins who arrived at the International Antarctic Centre in September have been given specially designed shoes after several penguins developed sore feet in their new home, according to Antarctic Centre director Richard Benton. Picture taken November 7, 2006.

Why we thought of this, we don't know

OMS's Mother, recently: Oh. Is that your new phone? Let me see.
OMS: Um. Well, OK. Here it is.
MOTHER: Hand it to me. Let me see it.
OMS: Yeah, but, OK. Here.
MOTHER: I like it (flips phone).
OMS: Oh. That's just (our) Scarlett Johansson cleavage-bearing wallpaper.
MOTHER: Huh.

Summing up why, in a lot of well-written words, we're pretty much opposed to this war and others suggested or otherwise carried out by, well...

You know, ol' smoke 'em outta there holes over there.

From the AP. Thank you, Scott Lindlaw and Martha Mendoza, for doing what journalists are supposed to do.

In a remote and dangerous corner of Afghanistan, under the protective roar of Apache attack helicopters and B-52 bombers, special agents and investigators did their work. They walked the landscape with surviving witnesses. They found a rock stained with the blood of the victim. They re-enacted the killings - here the U.S. Army Rangers swept through the canyon in their Humvee, blasting away; here the doomed man waved his arms, pleading for recognition as a friend, not an enemy.

"Cease fire, friendlies, I am Pat (expletive) Tillman, damn it!" he shouted, again and again.

The latest inquiry into Tillman's death by friendly fire should end next month; authorities have said they intend to release to the public only a synopsis of their report. But The Associated Press has combed through the results of 2 1/4 years of investigations - reviewed thousands of pages of internal Army documents, interviewed dozens of people familiar with the case - and uncovered some startling findings.

One of the four shooters, Staff Sgt. Trevor Alders, had recently had PRK laser eye surgery. Although he could see two sets of hands "straight up," his vision was "hazy," he said. In the absence of "friendly identifying signals," he assumed Tillman and an allied Afghan who also was killed were enemy.

Another, Spc. Steve Elliott, said he was "excited" by the sight of rifles, muzzle flashes and "shapes." A third, Spc. Stephen Ashpole, said he saw two figures, and just aimed where everyone else was shooting.

Squad leader Sgt. Greg Baker had 20-20 eyesight, but claimed he had "tunnel vision." Amid the chaos and pumping adrenaline, Baker said he hammered what he thought was the enemy but was actually the allied Afghan fighter next to Tillman who was trying to give the Americans cover: "I zoned in on him because I could see the AK-47. I focused only on him."

All four failed to identify their targets before firing, a direct violation of the fire discipline techniques drilled into every soldier.

There's more:

_Tillman's platoon had nearly run out of vital supplies, according to one of the shooters. They were down to the water in their Camelbak drinking pouches, and were forced to buy a goat from a local vendor. Delayed supply flights contributed to the hunger, fatigue and possibly misjudgments by platoon members.

_A key commander in the events that led to Tillman's death both was reprimanded for his role and meted out punishments to those who fired, raising questions of conflict of interest.

_A field hospital report says someone tried to jump-start Tillman's heart with CPR hours after his head had been partly blown off and his corpse wrapped in a poncho; key evidence including Tillman's body armor and uniform was burned.

_Investigators have been stymied because some of those involved now have lawyers and refused to cooperate, and other soldiers who were at the scene couldn't be located.

_Three of the four shooters are now out of the Army, and essentially beyond the reach of military justice.

Taken together, these findings raise more questions than they answer, in a case that already had veered from suggestions that it all was a result of the "fog of war" to insinuations that criminal acts were to blame.

The Pentagon's failure to reveal for more than a month that Tillman was killed by friendly fire have raised suspicions of a coverup. To Tillman's family, there is little doubt that his death was more than an innocent mistake.

One investigator told the Tillmans that it hadn't been ruled out that Tillman was shot by an American sniper or deliberately murdered by his own men - though he also gave no indication the evidence pointed that way.

"I will not assume his death was accidental or 'fog of war,'" said his father, Pat Tillman Sr. "I want to know what happened, and they've clouded that so badly we may never know."

And so, almost two years after three bullets through the forehead killed the star defensive back - a man who President Bush would call "an inspiration on and off the football field" - the fourth investigation began.

This time, the investigators are supposed to think like prosecutors:

Who fired the shots that killed Pat Tillman, and why?

Who insisted Tillman's platoon split and travel through dangerous territory in daylight, against its own policy? Who let the command slip away and chaos engulf the unit?

And perhaps most of all: Was a crime committed?

---

The long and complicated story of Pat Tillman's death and the investigations it spawned began five years ago, in the smoking ruins of the World Trade Center.

"It is a proud and patriotic thing you are doing," Defense Secretary Donald H. Rumsfeld wrote to Tillman in 2002, after Tillman - shocked and outraged by the Sept. 11 attacks - turned down a multimillion-dollar contract with the Arizona Cardinals to join the elite Army Rangers.

The San Jose, Calif. native enlisted with his brother Kevin, who gave up his own chance to play professional baseball. The Tillmans were deployed to Iraq in 2003, then sent to Afghanistan.

The mission of their "Black Sheep" platoon in April 2004 sounded straightforward: Divide a region along the Pakistan border into zones, then check each grid for insurgents and weapons. They were to clear two zones and then move deeper into Afghanistan.

But a broken-down Humvee known as a Ground Mobility Vehicle, or GMV, stalled the unit on an isolated road. A mechanic couldn't fix it, and a fuel pump flown in on a helicopter didn't help.

Hours passed. Enemy fighters watched invisibly, plotting their ambush.

Tillman's platoon must have presented an inviting target. There were 39 men - including six allied Afghan fighters trained by the CIA - and about a dozen vehicles.

Impatience was rising at the tactical operations center at Forward Operating Base Salerno, near Khowst, Afghanistan, where officers coordinated the movements of several platoons. Led by then-Maj. David Hodne, the so-called Cross-Functional Team worked at a U-shaped table inside a 20-by-30-foot tent with a projection screen and a satellite radio.

(Hodne, now a lieutenant colonel and executive officer for the 75th Ranger Regiment, declined to be interviewed on the record by the AP - as did nearly every person involved in the incident.)

When the Humvee broke down, the Black Sheep were nearing the end of their assignment; all that was left was to "turn one last stone and then get out," Hodne would testify. The unit was then to head for Manah, a small village where it would spend the night.

The commanders had already given the Black Sheep an extra day to get into its grid zones. High-ranking commanders were "pushing us pretty hard to keep moving," said Hodne.

"We had better not have any more delays due to this vehicle," he told his subordinates.

At the operations center, the Black Sheep's company commander, then-Capt. William C. "Satch" Saunders, was feeling the heat to get the platoon moving.

"We wanted to make sure we had a force staged to confirm or deny any enemy presence in Manah the next day, so we would not get ourselves too far behind setting ourselves up for our next series of operations," he recalled later to an investigator.

The order came down to split the platoon in two to speed its progress.

Saunders initially told investigators that Hodne had issued the order, but later, after he was given immunity from prosecution, he acknowledged it was his decision alone.

Hodne later said he was in the dark - "I felt like the village idiot because I had no idea what they were doing," he recalled. The decision was foolhardy, he said. Divided in two, "they didn't have enough combat power to do that mission" of clearing Manah, he testified. (Other commanders have insisted that splitting the platoon was perfectly safe and a common practice.)

One thing is clear: The order sparked a flurry of activity by the Black Sheep.

One of the gunners who shot Tillman said his unit didn't even have time to look at a map before getting back on the road.

"We were rushed to conduct an operation that had such flaws," said Alders. "Which in the end would prove to be fatal."

"If anything, this sense of urgency was as deadly to Tillman as the bullet that cut his life short," Alders wrote in a lengthy statement protesting his expulsion from the Rangers. "We could have conducted the search at night like we did on the follow-up operations or the next morning like we ended up doing anyway. Why, I ask, why?"

An investigator, Brig. Gen. Gary M. Jones, would later agree that an "artificial sense of urgency" to keep Tillman's platoon moving was a crucial factor in his death: "There was no specific intelligence that made the movement to Manah before nightfall imperative."

An officer involved in the incident told AP there was, however, general intelligence of insurgent activity in this region, historically a Taliban hotbed.

That suspicion would be confirmed when the Black Sheep drove through a narrow canyon, its walls towering about 500 feet, and came under fire from enemy Afghans. Chaos broke out and communications broke down.

After the platoon split, the second section of the convoy roared out of the canyon, into an open valley and straight at their comrades a few minutes ahead. A Humvee packed with pumped-up Rangers opened fire, killing the friendly Afghan and Tillman, though he desperately sought to be recognized.

Later, at least one of the same Rangers turned his guns on a village where witnesses say civilian women and children had gathered. The shooters raked it with fire, the American witnesses said; they wounded two additional fellow Rangers, including their own platoon leader.

---

Had it happened in the United States, police would have quickly cordoned off the area with "crime scene" tape and determined whether a law had been broken.

Instead, the investigations into Tillman's death have cascaded, one after another, for the past 30 months.

For Mary Tillman, getting to the bottom of her son's death is more than a personal quest.

"This isn't just about our son," she said. "It's about holding the military accountable. Finding out what happened to Pat is ultimately going to be important in finding out what happened to other soldiers."

In the days after the shootings, the first officer appointed to investigate, then-Capt. Richard Scott, interviewed all four shooters, their driver, and many others who were there. He concluded within a week that the gunmen demonstrated "gross negligence" and recommended further investigation.

"It could involve some Rangers that could be charged" with a crime, Scott told a superior later.

Then-Lt. Col. Jeffrey Bailey - the battalion commander who oversaw Tillman's platoon - later assured Tillman's family that those responsible would be punished as harshly as possible.

But no one was ever court martialed; staff lawyers advised senior Army commanders reviewing the incident that there was no legal basis for it.

Instead, the Army punished seven people all together; four soldiers received relatively minor punishments known as Article 15s under military law, with no court proceedings. These four ranged from written reprimands to expulsion from the Rangers. One, Baker, had his pay reduced and was effectively forced out of the Army. The other three soldiers received administrative reprimands.

Scott's report circulated briefly among a small corps of high-ranking officers.

Then, it disappeared.

Some of Tillman's relatives think the Army buried the report because its findings were too explosive. Army officials refused to provide a copy to the AP, saying no materials related to the investigation could be released.

The commander of Tillman's 75th Ranger Regiment, then-Col. James C. Nixon, wasn't satisfied with Scott's investigation, which he said focused too heavily on pre-combat inspections and procedures rather than on what had happened.

Scott "made some conclusions in the document that weren't validated by facts" as described by the participants, Nixon would tell later investigators.

Nixon assigned his top aide, Lt. Col. Ralph Kauzlarich, to lead what became the second investigation. Kauzlarich harshly criticized Baker and the men on his truck.

Among other things, Baker should have known that at least two of his subordinates had never been in a firefight, and should have closely supervised where they shot.

"His failure to do so resulted in deaths of Cpl. Tillman and the AMF soldier, and the serious wounding of two other (Rangers)," Kauzlarich concluded. "While a great deal of discretion should be granted to a leader who is making difficult judgments in the heat of combat, the command also has a responsibility to hold its leaders accountable when that judgment is so wanton or poor that it places the lives of other men at risk."

Still, the Tillman family complained that questions remained: Who killed Tillman? Why did they fire? Were the punishments stiff enough?

"I don't think that punishment fit their actions out there in the field," said Kevin Tillman, who was with his brother the day Pat was killed but was several minutes behind him in the trailing element of a convoy and saw nothing.

"They were not inquiring, identifying, engaging (targets). They weren't doing their job as a soldier," he told an investigator. "You have an obligation as a soldier to, you know, do certain things, and just shooting isn't one of your responsibilities. You know, it has to be a known, likely suspect."

And so, in November 2004, acting Army Secretary Les Brownlee ordered up yet another investigation, by Jones.

The result was 2,100 pages of transcripts and detailed descriptions of the incident, but no new charges or punishments. The report, completed Jan. 10, 2005, was provided - with many portions blacked out or removed entirely - to the Tillman family. It has not been released to the public; the family found it wanting.

Pressed anew by the Tillmans, the Pentagon inspector general announced a review of the investigations in August 2005. And in March 2006, they launched a new criminal probe into the actions of the men who shot at Tillman.

---

The veteran Pentagon official who is overseeing these latest inquiries, acting Defense Department Inspector General Thomas Gimble, has called the Tillman probe the toughest case he has ever seen, according to people he recently briefed.

Investigators are looking at who pulled the triggers and fired at Tillman; they are also looking at the officers who pressured the platoon to move through a region with a history of ambushes; the soldiers who burned Tillman's uniform and body armor afterward; and at everyone in the chain of command who deliberately kept the circumstances of Tillman's death from the family for more than a month.

Military investigators under Gimble's direction this year visited the rugged valley in eastern Afghanistan where Tillman was killed. It was a risky trip; the region is even more dangerous today than it was in 2004.

According to one person briefed by investigators, the contingent included at least two soldiers who were there the day of the incident - Staff Sgt. Matthew Weeks, a squad leader who was up the hill from Tillman when he was shot, and the driver of the GMV that carried the Rangers who shot Tillman, Staff Sgt. Kellett Sayre.

When the current inquiry began, the Pentagon projected it would be completed by September 2006. Now Gimble and the Army's Criminal Investigation Command, known as CID, are aiming to finish their work by December, say lawmakers and other officials briefed by Gimble.

CID is probing everything up to and including Tillman's shooting. The inspector general's office itself has a half-dozen investigators researching everything that happened afterward, including allegations of a coverup.

The investigators have taken sworn testimony from about 70 people, some of whom said they were questioned for more than six hours. But Gimble said investigators have been hindered by a failure to locate key witnesses, even some who are still in the active military.

Moreover, those who are now out of the Army, including three of the four shooters, can't be court martialed. They could be charged in the civilian justice system by a U.S. attorney, but such a step would be highly unusual.

The law that allows it, the Military Extraterritorial Jurisdiction Act, has been invoked fewer than a half-dozen times since its enactment in 2000, said Scott Silliman, executive director of Duke Law School's Center on Law, Ethics and National Security and a high-ranking Air Force lawyer until his retirement in 1993.

The investigation, Gimble has said, is also complicated because of "numerous missteps" by the three previous investigators, particularly their failure to follow standards for handling evidence.

Gimble promised lawmakers in a series of briefings this fall that his investigation "will bring all to light." He has committed to releasing his detailed findings to key legislators, Pentagon officials and the Tillman family, as well as a synopsis to the general public, congressional aides said.

Gimble declined an AP request for an interview.

---

To date, a total of seven soldiers have been disciplined in Tillman's death.

Bailey, the 2nd Ranger Battalion commander who was camped out about two miles down the road with another unit the night Tillman died, surveyed the shooting scene hours after it occurred.

"I don't think there was any criminal act," he said. "It was a fratricide based upon a lot of contributing factors, confusion," he testified to an investigator in late 2004.

Some high-ranking officers, including Bailey, believe a lack of control in the field was to blame - starting with the platoon leader and including the soldiers who didn't identify their targets.

Bailey, who approved punishments for several of the soldiers, said he disagreed with the platoon's protests that they were "doing what we asked them to do under some very difficult circumstances, and that there were mistakes made but they weren't negligent mistakes."

He also testified that "three gunners were, to varying degrees, culpable in what had happened out there." And he said he wanted a fourth soldier involved - the squad leader, Baker - "out of the military."

Baker soon left the Army.

As for others involved:

_The three other shooters - Ashpole, Alders and Elliott - remained in the service initially but Elliott and Ashpole have since left. Elliott struck a deal with authorities; in exchange for his testimony to investigator Jones, the Army gave him immunity from prosecution "in any criminal proceedings."

_The platoon leader, Lt. David Uthlaut, was later bumped down from the Rangers to the regular Army for failing to prepare his men prior to the shootings, according to Bailey.

"They didn't do communications checks. They didn't check out their equipment. So they'd been there 24 hours," Bailey testified. "For example, some of the weapons systems weren't even loaded with ammunition. Many of the soldiers didn't know where they were going. They didn't have contingency plans."

A non-commissioned officer on the ground that day, however, testified that the unit carried out required communications checks.

Uthlaut was also wounded by fellow Rangers in the incident. He was awarded the Purple Heart and later promoted to captain.

_Saunders, the company commander, was given the authority to punish three soldiers - even though he himself was reprimanded for his own poor leadership. Both Saunders and Hodne received formal written reprimands for failing to "provide adequate command and control" of subordinate units - administrative punishments lighter than the Article 15s handed down to the soldiers who shot at Tillman. This obviously hasn't hurt Hodne's career; he has since been promoted.

"I thought it was (the commanders') fault, or part of their fault that we were even in this situation, when they're telling us to split up," said Ashpole.

Some lawmakers have warned that if this probe does not clear up all questions on Tillman's death, they may press for congressional hearings. Others have said Congress could call for an independent panel of retired military officers and other experts to conduct an outside probe.

Rep. Mike Honda, a Democrat who represents the San Jose district where Tillman's family lives, has pressed the Pentagon for answers on the status of its investigations.

"I'm very impatient and at times cynical," Honda said. But, he said, the honor of the military - and the confidence of the public in the military and the government - are at stake.

"So if we pursue the truth and wait for it," he said, "it may be worthwhile."

Good things happen in threes, right?

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is stepping down, sources tell CNN.

UPDATE y'all

From 411wrestling.com: As reported earlier in the 411 Music section, Britney Spears has filed for divorce from Kevin Federline. That article is available here.

Several gossip sites are reporting that Spears left Federline days ago after he snapped into a rage, screaming at Spears and destroying property. The reason for the outburst was apparently because Spears laughed at a tape of Federline's WWE appearances.

The news seems to work out well for WWE since Federline will get a lot of publicity from this and is scheduled to continue working with WWE, including a match against John Cena on the 01/01/07 RAW.

Moms always told us Vince McMahon was the devil.

So who'd you vote for?

So for two years now, we've voted in what could be the oldest, whitest polling places in America. We mean, come on, young people. Get out and volunteer at the polls so the guy who asks us for our ID -- or doesn't in this case -- doesn't need a f*cking magnifying glass to see how many f*cking middle names we have. We mean, come o-- WAIT. HOLD UP. WOW. IT'S ABOUT F*CKING TIME. MAYBE SHE GOT OUR MESSAGES AFTER ALL.

So yeah, what were we talking about?

Spinning right 'round baby 'right round like a...

We emailed our good friend Mike about this yesterday because we were too traumatized to post it here. But that was then, and now we get that this is all part of God's good work on this here good planet.

So yesterday morning, we were on our way to work, as usual. We were sipping coffee and maybe singing along with Eagle-Eye Cherry. What. Like you never sang along to "Save Tonight."

"Fight the break of dawn..."

Out of nowhere, a rather large buck darted from what used to be woods and now is a construction site (because Lord knows the country club needs more parking -- it's all part of the plan, though, right?).

So this buck -- let's call him Moncrief -- darted past the northbound lane of the small country road and into the southbound lane. The Camry in front of us slammed on its brakes and, well, boy if the Camry didn't launch Moncrief 20 feet into the air.

And darned if Moncrief didn't fly, twirling like a helicopter, about 25 feet off the road and onto a driveway. And darned if Moncrief didn't bounce off the driveway, land, pick his head up for a moment as if to say, "F*ck," and then look around, as if to say, "F********ck."

Meanwhile, Camry pulled over, windshield destroyed and woman driver dialing her cell for the police. All in a matter of 8 seconds. It was like watching the cows fly by in the Twister. Poor thing.

We're so not loading our rifle, again, when we go buck hunting with the old man's old man in four weeks.