Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Again?

Good morning rain,

While we love you so on Sunday mornings, is it really necessary to visit us *every* day? We mean, shucks, it's touching that you want to spend so much time with us. A little creepy that you don't call or text first, but understandable.

It's like, well, you just have a long journey, we know. But can't your mother call us, or give us warning? What? Listen to the weatherman or check the weather.com? OK. But that doesn't stop you from showing up on our door.

We liked you in that Band song, and we used to like the fact that we *always* thought it was raining, figuratively, wherever we seemed to go. But we're better now. We don't need you to make us feel better about ourselves anymore.

So all we're saying is, well, it's not you, it's us. We're just not ready for the type of everyday commitment you're looking for. Maybe if we had the chance to see the sun every once in awhile, we'd appreciate you more. It's just, well, these things take time.

So what we'd like is for you to maybe just ease up a little bit. When we wake up, we don't need you all up in our bidness getting things wet and ruining our breakfast downtime.

We like you, rain. Wait. We love you rain. Love. Just not all rain, all the time. You need to think about our needs.

Wait. Come back. We don't think you understand us. No. No. No. Did you hear the part about it being us, not you? Sh*t. Something's gone horribly wrong. Come back, rain. Please come back.

10 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is the most hurtful thing I've ever read. You're a prick. And what's with the we? Man. You're the one with issues.

Anonymous said...

I agree with Snow. It's not like you have a mission before you or anything. Christ. Some people are sad, sad, people. What? Oh. Sorry Jesus. I wasn't talking to you. It was more a figure of speech.

Anonymous said...

I didn't hear you complaining when it was unseasonably warm in January, you hypocrite, you. This blog sucks.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you would so callously try to break up with someone like that. Next, you'll blog about how your married and you can't decide if you want me or Addison. Pick me. Choose me. Want me.

Anonymous said...

I hate posts. I hate OMS. I hate rain. I hate blogs. I hate Dr. McSmurfy.

Anonymous said...

Hey Mer, I'll always love you and all, but it's "you're." Speaking of, your dog peed on my things again. I love you. I mean, it's better this way. I love Calli. And your dog. You're the best.

Anonymous said...

Wooooooooo! There's no rain on SPACE MOUNTAIN! Woooooooo! To be the man, WOOOOOO! you have to beat the man, jack. And right here tonight, on the porch, ol' Naitch will take on the biggest and baddest WOOOOO! of 'em all. Remember this one thing, brother: I am the DIRTIEST WOOOOOO PLAYER WOOOO in. The. Game. Wooooooooo!

Anonymous said...

I like watching the puddles gather rain.

Anonymous said...

What happens when you take a piss on the flame that still burns?

Anonymous said...

My blog is easier to understand.