And now back to things we would have said at the roast if not for the overwhelming feeling that *we'd* be the one who bombs.

To the host: "Hey, here's a napkin. You have the flop sweat on your brow."

What. Nothin'?

No seriously. We would've probably said, "What. Nothin'?"

To the bachelor: "Thanks so much for unasking (us) to sing at your wedding."

To the bachelor, again: "Sorry. What. Too soon?"

To the room: "Wow. So *this* is what a NAMBLA conference is like."

And that's what it's like to be Old Man Snap. Weeks to prepare material. Don't prepare material. Choke by over-laughing at the roast to make up for said lack of material. Beat self up about not bringing the funny material.

Think of good material. The next morning. Tell it on the drive home alone and laugh hysterically. Repeat. Then blog about it three days later because you're still thinking about it.

Yay! Issues!