Oh with the Little Children

So we watched the Little Children on the On Demand tonight after our run. We even had, GASP, a bowl of ice cream for the first time in two months because daggumit we've been busting our ass to get ourselves in shape.

But we digress.

The Little Children would be a fantastic movie, save for the random and weirdly placed narration. We get that the movie was more than likely trying to stay true to a book we never read, but really with the narration? There were several pregnant pauses when we started narrating for the narrator -- which is never a good sign.

Still, Jesus Kate Winslet is one of the best actresses of our generation, and not just because she gets absolutely railed in the downstairs laundry room. And Jackie Earle Haley certainly deserved the hype last year for his performance.

But back to the narration. You know when you're eating your Peanut Butter Cup ice cream and savoring the moment and looking at Kate Winslet's t*ts and all of a sudden some random voice starts telling you what Kate Winslet is thinking as she pushes her daughter on the swing next to the DILF?

We get the same feeling of angst when we watch the Sports Center and the senseless, absolutely senseless, WHO'S NOW segment comes on. You know, the one where overzealous blowhards in pimp suits dissect an athlete's *impact* on society. Um. The only *impact* we care about is did they win the effing game and, if so, how did they do it?

So tonight, before the Little Children watching, we caught the Sports Center. Our role for WHO'S NOW is anytime it comes on, we change the channel because the segment, and the idea, is, in a word, ass.

But we did learn that the finals of the WHO'S NOW comes down to Tiger Woods, whom one anchor acually called T-DUBYA, versus Peyton Manning, and LeBron James vs. Shaq. We'd pay to see that sh*t in an octagon, or even a pool with Jackie Earle Haley in scuba gear, but we won't, because WHO'S NOW simply does not matter.

It is yet another way for ESPN to put itself over at the expense of game. Pick a game, any of them. Played on a field or court or track. Where athletes bleed and sweat to win. WHO'S NOW doesn't matter. Who wins, or even loses, does.

Yes. We just compared a dark chick flick to ESPN. It's there. Just follow along.