No. Not of fame.
Fifteen minutes. It's all we have to do for our lesson plan for our grad school class. In front of the class. A class with a 50-plus-year-old scientist who looks like Bunson Honeydew's long-lost hippie brother, or that guy from the Fraggle Rock. A class with the two adorable twins we crush on a li'l bit. A class with a professor with more than 40 years in public education.
No pressure, though.
We're going to teach ledes. And yes we spelled it right. It's not like we've never done this, and it's not like we haven't, um, performed before. Fifteen minutes. It's like an open mic night without a guitar or forlorn song about destined for doom love. Considering the Nashville Star tryout was 30 *seconds*, this is nothing.
So why are we awake and procrastinating?
We're finding these days that the more we care about something, the more inspired we are, the more awake we are, and the more focused we are. Huh.
Old Man Snap doth matured y'all.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Tuesday, July 29, 2008
So.
What have we been doing, you ask?
Huh. Well.
1. Not getting enough sleep and having random yet insane sex dreams. The one last night involved our mom -- no, perverts -- almost walking into the spare bedroom in our house, circa 1985-1993, where she almost would have found lots of used, um, domes (we refuse to say "rubbers" or "tubesocks"). Oopsies. We know this is a direct correlation to the wall post Moms left on *Facebook* for us yesterday, but whatevs. We're disturbed.
2. School. Last night, our professor asked us to play a game. "Name five caucasion men, famous or infamous," he said. Then with the naming white women, and black men and women, and then with the Hispanics, and so on down to Native Americans. Granted for "Hispanic Female," we could only think of Selena, but still. It got worse. We were afraid to say, "That Guy Who Shot-Up Virginia Tech" (what, too soon?) for Asian infamous male, and we think the fact that we wrote, "Tonto," for "Native American Male" is ridiculously funny. And no. We don't have the racist.
3. School, part 2. Last night, our professor wasted pretty much two hours of class time with the aforementioned game ("What I'm trying to do here is point out that most of us are ethnocentric..."). He also said at one point, "I'm a little out of touch. I heard recently that Maria Carey has sold more records than Elvis Presley." We didn't have the heart to tell him that although Mariah Carey has sold many, many records, she also went through a random post-911 thing where she'd call Carson Daly on the TRL from the shower. We also didn't have the heart to tell him that TRL Live so isn't the same without Carson Daly.
4. Softball. Seriously. Who plays this much softball?
5. Carson Daly references? (And check out the audience, PS. It's like a who's who of irrelevance, no?).
6. Not drinking. Or trying not to. We had a hiccup on Saturday. But the bartender at La Linea was adorable and liked talking about her tattoos. Bartender + tattoos + cold Stellas = Happy OMS.
7. Not blogging as much. We know. First, we retired in January, sort of like Brett Favre without the tears or fanfare. Then we came back, again sort of like Favre but without the bitching and complaining and the messing with, we don't know, an entire organization, and now with the not blogging as much. Cut us some slack. We're down to 1.6 average daily readers, and we so don't have a job with the tokoni.
8. Running. When we can. What wonderful exercise, especially when listening to Redman's "Time 4 Sum Aksion" and Buckcherry's "Crazy Bitch."
9. Not driving two-and-a-half hours a day anymore, but y'all knew that.
10. Stumping for Obama. Buy the shirts!
Huh. Well.
1. Not getting enough sleep and having random yet insane sex dreams. The one last night involved our mom -- no, perverts -- almost walking into the spare bedroom in our house, circa 1985-1993, where she almost would have found lots of used, um, domes (we refuse to say "rubbers" or "tubesocks"). Oopsies. We know this is a direct correlation to the wall post Moms left on *Facebook* for us yesterday, but whatevs. We're disturbed.
2. School. Last night, our professor asked us to play a game. "Name five caucasion men, famous or infamous," he said. Then with the naming white women, and black men and women, and then with the Hispanics, and so on down to Native Americans. Granted for "Hispanic Female," we could only think of Selena, but still. It got worse. We were afraid to say, "That Guy Who Shot-Up Virginia Tech" (what, too soon?) for Asian infamous male, and we think the fact that we wrote, "Tonto," for "Native American Male" is ridiculously funny. And no. We don't have the racist.
3. School, part 2. Last night, our professor wasted pretty much two hours of class time with the aforementioned game ("What I'm trying to do here is point out that most of us are ethnocentric..."). He also said at one point, "I'm a little out of touch. I heard recently that Maria Carey has sold more records than Elvis Presley." We didn't have the heart to tell him that although Mariah Carey has sold many, many records, she also went through a random post-911 thing where she'd call Carson Daly on the TRL from the shower. We also didn't have the heart to tell him that TRL Live so isn't the same without Carson Daly.
4. Softball. Seriously. Who plays this much softball?
5. Carson Daly references? (And check out the audience, PS. It's like a who's who of irrelevance, no?).
6. Not drinking. Or trying not to. We had a hiccup on Saturday. But the bartender at La Linea was adorable and liked talking about her tattoos. Bartender + tattoos + cold Stellas = Happy OMS.
7. Not blogging as much. We know. First, we retired in January, sort of like Brett Favre without the tears or fanfare. Then we came back, again sort of like Favre but without the bitching and complaining and the messing with, we don't know, an entire organization, and now with the not blogging as much. Cut us some slack. We're down to 1.6 average daily readers, and we so don't have a job with the tokoni.
8. Running. When we can. What wonderful exercise, especially when listening to Redman's "Time 4 Sum Aksion" and Buckcherry's "Crazy Bitch."
9. Not driving two-and-a-half hours a day anymore, but y'all knew that.
10. Stumping for Obama. Buy the shirts!
Thursday, July 24, 2008
God we love this man.
"A World That Stands as One"
As Prepared For Delivery by Barack Obama
Berlin, Germany
July 24, 2008
I come to Berlin as so many of my countrymen have come before. Tonight, I speak to you not as a candidate for President, but as a citizen – a proud citizen of the United States, and a fellow citizen of the world.
I know that I don’t look like the Americans who’ve previously spoken in this great city. The journey that led me here is improbable. My mother was born in the heartland of America, but my father grew up herding goats in Kenya. His father – my grandfather – was a cook, a domestic servant to the British.
At the height of the Cold War, my father decided, like so many others in the forgotten corners of the world, that his yearning – his dream – required the freedom and opportunity promised by the West. And so he wrote letter after letter to universities all across America until somebody, somewhere answered his prayer for a better life.
That is why I’m here. And you are here because you too know that yearning. This city, of all cities, knows the dream of freedom. And you know that the only reason we stand here tonight is because men and women from both of our nations came together to work, and struggle, and sacrifice for that better life.
Ours is a partnership that truly began sixty years ago this summer, on the day when the first American plane touched down at Templehof.
On that day, much of this continent still lay in ruin. The rubble of this city had yet to be built into a wall. The Soviet shadow had swept across Eastern Europe, while in the West, America, Britain, and France took stock of their losses, and pondered how the world might be remade.
This is where the two sides met. And on the twenty-fourth of June, 1948, the Communists chose to blockade the western part of the city. They cut off food and supplies to more than two million Germans in an effort to extinguish the last flame of freedom in Berlin.
The size of our forces was no match for the much larger Soviet Army. And yet retreat would have allowed Communism to march across Europe. Where the last war had ended, another World War could have easily begun. All that stood in the way was Berlin.
And that’s when the airlift began – when the largest and most unlikely rescue in history brought food and hope to the people of this city.
The odds were stacked against success. In the winter, a heavy fog filled the sky above, and many planes were forced to turn back without dropping off the needed supplies. The streets where we stand were filled with hungry families who had no comfort from the cold.
But in the darkest hours, the people of Berlin kept the flame of hope burning. The people of Berlin refused to give up. And on one fall day, hundreds of thousands of Berliners came here, to the Tiergarten, and heard the city’s mayor implore the world not to give up on freedom. “There is only one possibility,” he said. “For us to stand together united until this battle is won…The people of Berlin have spoken. We have done our duty, and we will keep on doing our duty. People of the world: now do your duty…People of the world, look at Berlin!”
People of the world – look at Berlin!
Look at Berlin, where Germans and Americans learned to work together and trust each other less than three years after facing each other on the field of battle.
Look at Berlin, where the determination of a people met the generosity of the Marshall Plan and created a German miracle; where a victory over tyranny gave rise to NATO, the greatest alliance ever formed to defend our common security.
Look at Berlin, where the bullet holes in the buildings and the somber stones and pillars near the Brandenburg Gate insist that we never forget our common humanity.
People of the world – look at Berlin, where a wall came down, a continent came together, and history proved that there is no challenge too great for a world that stands as one.
Sixty years after the airlift, we are called upon again. History has led us to a new crossroad, with new promise and new peril. When you, the German people, tore down that wall – a wall that divided East and West; freedom and tyranny; fear and hope – walls came tumbling down around the world. From Kiev to Cape Town, prison camps were closed, and the doors of democracy were opened. Markets opened too, and the spread of information and technology reduced barriers to opportunity and prosperity. While the 20th century taught us that we share a common destiny, the 21st has revealed a world more intertwined than at any time in human history.
The fall of the Berlin Wall brought new hope. But that very closeness has given rise to new dangers – dangers that cannot be contained within the borders of a country or by the distance of an ocean.
The terrorists of September 11th plotted in Hamburg and trained in Kandahar and Karachi before killing thousands from all over the globe on American soil.
As we speak, cars in Boston and factories in Beijing are melting the ice caps in the Arctic, shrinking coastlines in the Atlantic, and bringing drought to farms from Kansas to Kenya.
Poorly secured nuclear material in the former Soviet Union, or secrets from a scientist in Pakistan could help build a bomb that detonates in Paris. The poppies in Afghanistan become the heroin in Berlin. The poverty and violence in Somalia breeds the terror of tomorrow. The genocide in Darfur shames the conscience of us all.
In this new world, such dangerous currents have swept along faster than our efforts to contain them. That is why we cannot afford to be divided. No one nation, no matter how large or powerful, can defeat such challenges alone. None of us can deny these threats, or escape responsibility in meeting them. Yet, in the absence of Soviet tanks and a terrible wall, it has become easy to forget this truth. And if we’re honest with each other, we know that sometimes, on both sides of the Atlantic, we have drifted apart, and forgotten our shared destiny.
In Europe, the view that America is part of what has gone wrong in our world, rather than a force to help make it right, has become all too common. In America, there are voices that deride and deny the importance of Europe’s role in our security and our future. Both views miss the truth – that Europeans today are bearing new burdens and taking more responsibility in critical parts of the world; and that just as American bases built in the last century still help to defend the security of this continent, so does our country still sacrifice greatly for freedom around the globe.
Yes, there have been differences between America and Europe. No doubt, there will be differences in the future. But the burdens of global citizenship continue to bind us together. A change of leadership in Washington will not lift this burden. In this new century, Americans and Europeans alike will be required to do more – not less. Partnership and cooperation among nations is not a choice; it is the one way, the only way, to protect our common security and advance our common humanity.
That is why the greatest danger of all is to allow new walls to divide us from one another. The walls between old allies on either side of the Atlantic cannot stand. The walls between the countries with the most and those with the least cannot stand. The walls between races and tribes; natives and immigrants; Christian and Muslim and Jew cannot stand. These now are the walls we must tear down.
We know they have fallen before. After centuries of strife, the people of Europe have formed a Union of promise and prosperity. Here, at the base of a column built to mark victory in war, we meet in the center of a Europe at peace. Not only have walls come down in Berlin, but they have come down in Belfast, where Protestant and Catholic found a way to live together; in the Balkans, where our Atlantic alliance ended wars and brought savage war criminals to justice; and in South Africa, where the struggle of a courageous people defeated apartheid.
So history reminds us that walls can be torn down. But the task is never easy. True partnership and true progress requires constant work and sustained sacrifice. They require sharing the burdens of development and diplomacy; of progress and peace. They require allies who will listen to each other, learn from each other and, most of all, trust each other.
That is why America cannot turn inward. That is why Europe cannot turn inward. America has no better partner than Europe. Now is the time to build new bridges across the globe as strong as the one that bound us across the Atlantic. Now is the time to join together, through constant cooperation, strong institutions, shared sacrifice, and a global commitment to progress, to meet the challenges of the 21st century. It was this spirit that led airlift planes to appear in the sky above our heads, and people to assemble where we stand today. And this is the moment when our nations – and all nations – must summon that spirit anew.
This is the moment when we must defeat terror and dry up the well of extremism that supports it. This threat is real and we cannot shrink from our responsibility to combat it. If we could create NATO to face down the Soviet Union, we can join in a new and global partnership to dismantle the networks that have struck in Madrid and Amman; in London and Bali; in Washington and New York. If we could win a battle of ideas against the communists, we can stand with the vast majority of Muslims who reject the extremism that leads to hate instead of hope.
This is the moment when we must renew our resolve to rout the terrorists who threaten our security in Afghanistan, and the traffickers who sell drugs on your streets. No one welcomes war. I recognize the enormous difficulties in Afghanistan. But my country and yours have a stake in seeing that NATO’s first mission beyond Europe’s borders is a success. For the people of Afghanistan, and for our shared security, the work must be done. America cannot do this alone. The Afghan people need our troops and your troops; our support and your support to defeat the Taliban and al Qaeda, to develop their economy, and to help them rebuild their nation. We have too much at stake to turn back now.
This is the moment when we must renew the goal of a world without nuclear weapons. The two superpowers that faced each other across the wall of this city came too close too often to destroying all we have built and all that we love. With that wall gone, we need not stand idly by and watch the further spread of the deadly atom. It is time to secure all loose nuclear materials; to stop the spread of nuclear weapons; and to reduce the arsenals from another era. This is the moment to begin the work of seeking the peace of a world without nuclear weapons.
This is the moment when every nation in Europe must have the chance to choose its own tomorrow free from the shadows of yesterday. In this century, we need a strong European Union that deepens the security and prosperity of this continent, while extending a hand abroad. In this century – in this city of all cities – we must reject the Cold War mind-set of the past, and resolve to work with Russia when we can, to stand up for our values when we must, and to seek a partnership that extends across this entire continent.
This is the moment when we must build on the wealth that open markets have created, and share its benefits more equitably. Trade has been a cornerstone of our growth and global development. But we will not be able to sustain this growth if it favors the few, and not the many. Together, we must forge trade that truly rewards the work that creates wealth, with meaningful protections for our people and our planet. This is the moment for trade that is free and fair for all.
This is the moment we must help answer the call for a new dawn in the Middle East. My country must stand with yours and with Europe in sending a direct message to Iran that it must abandon its nuclear ambitions. We must support the Lebanese who have marched and bled for democracy, and the Israelis and Palestinians who seek a secure and lasting peace. And despite past differences, this is the moment when the world should support the millions of Iraqis who seek to rebuild their lives, even as we pass responsibility to the Iraqi government and finally bring this war to a close.
This is the moment when we must come together to save this planet. Let us resolve that we will not leave our children a world where the oceans rise and famine spreads and terrible storms devastate our lands. Let us resolve that all nations – including my own – will act with the same seriousness of purpose as has your nation, and reduce the carbon we send into our atmosphere. This is the moment to give our children back their future. This is the moment to stand as one.
And this is the moment when we must give hope to those left behind in a globalized world. We must remember that the Cold War born in this city was not a battle for land or treasure. Sixty years ago, the planes that flew over Berlin did not drop bombs; instead they delivered food, and coal, and candy to grateful children. And in that show of solidarity, those pilots won more than a military victory. They won hearts and minds; love and loyalty and trust – not just from the people in this city, but from all those who heard the story of what they did here.
Now the world will watch and remember what we do here – what we do with this moment. Will we extend our hand to the people in the forgotten corners of this world who yearn for lives marked by dignity and opportunity; by security and justice? Will we lift the child in Bangladesh from poverty, shelter the refugee in Chad, and banish the scourge of AIDS in our time?
Will we stand for the human rights of the dissident in Burma, the blogger in Iran, or the voter in Zimbabwe? Will we give meaning to the words “never again” in Darfur?
Will we acknowledge that there is no more powerful example than the one each of our nations projects to the world? Will we reject torture and stand for the rule of law? Will we welcome immigrants from different lands, and shun discrimination against those who don’t look like us or worship like we do, and keep the promise of equality and opportunity for all of our people?
People of Berlin – people of the world – this is our moment. This is our time.
I know my country has not perfected itself. At times, we’ve struggled to keep the promise of liberty and equality for all of our people. We’ve made our share of mistakes, and there are times when our actions around the world have not lived up to our best intentions.
But I also know how much I love America. I know that for more than two centuries, we have strived – at great cost and great sacrifice – to form a more perfect union; to seek, with other nations, a more hopeful world. Our allegiance has never been to any particular tribe or kingdom – indeed, every language is spoken in our country; every culture has left its imprint on ours; every point of view is expressed in our public squares. What has always united us – what has always driven our people; what drew my father to America’s shores – is a set of ideals that speak to aspirations shared by all people: that we can live free from fear and free from want; that we can speak our minds and assemble with whomever we choose and worship as we please.
These are the aspirations that joined the fates of all nations in this city. These aspirations are bigger than anything that drives us apart. It is because of these aspirations that the airlift began. It is because of these aspirations that all free people – everywhere – became citizens of Berlin. It is in pursuit of these aspirations that a new generation – our generation – must make our mark on the world.
People of Berlin – and people of the world – the scale of our challenge is great. The road ahead will be long. But I come before you to say that we are heirs to a struggle for freedom. We are a people of improbable hope. With an eye toward the future, with resolve in our hearts, let us remember this history, and answer our destiny, and remake the world once again.
As Prepared For Delivery by Barack Obama
Berlin, Germany
July 24, 2008
I come to Berlin as so many of my countrymen have come before. Tonight, I speak to you not as a candidate for President, but as a citizen – a proud citizen of the United States, and a fellow citizen of the world.
I know that I don’t look like the Americans who’ve previously spoken in this great city. The journey that led me here is improbable. My mother was born in the heartland of America, but my father grew up herding goats in Kenya. His father – my grandfather – was a cook, a domestic servant to the British.
At the height of the Cold War, my father decided, like so many others in the forgotten corners of the world, that his yearning – his dream – required the freedom and opportunity promised by the West. And so he wrote letter after letter to universities all across America until somebody, somewhere answered his prayer for a better life.
That is why I’m here. And you are here because you too know that yearning. This city, of all cities, knows the dream of freedom. And you know that the only reason we stand here tonight is because men and women from both of our nations came together to work, and struggle, and sacrifice for that better life.
Ours is a partnership that truly began sixty years ago this summer, on the day when the first American plane touched down at Templehof.
On that day, much of this continent still lay in ruin. The rubble of this city had yet to be built into a wall. The Soviet shadow had swept across Eastern Europe, while in the West, America, Britain, and France took stock of their losses, and pondered how the world might be remade.
This is where the two sides met. And on the twenty-fourth of June, 1948, the Communists chose to blockade the western part of the city. They cut off food and supplies to more than two million Germans in an effort to extinguish the last flame of freedom in Berlin.
The size of our forces was no match for the much larger Soviet Army. And yet retreat would have allowed Communism to march across Europe. Where the last war had ended, another World War could have easily begun. All that stood in the way was Berlin.
And that’s when the airlift began – when the largest and most unlikely rescue in history brought food and hope to the people of this city.
The odds were stacked against success. In the winter, a heavy fog filled the sky above, and many planes were forced to turn back without dropping off the needed supplies. The streets where we stand were filled with hungry families who had no comfort from the cold.
But in the darkest hours, the people of Berlin kept the flame of hope burning. The people of Berlin refused to give up. And on one fall day, hundreds of thousands of Berliners came here, to the Tiergarten, and heard the city’s mayor implore the world not to give up on freedom. “There is only one possibility,” he said. “For us to stand together united until this battle is won…The people of Berlin have spoken. We have done our duty, and we will keep on doing our duty. People of the world: now do your duty…People of the world, look at Berlin!”
People of the world – look at Berlin!
Look at Berlin, where Germans and Americans learned to work together and trust each other less than three years after facing each other on the field of battle.
Look at Berlin, where the determination of a people met the generosity of the Marshall Plan and created a German miracle; where a victory over tyranny gave rise to NATO, the greatest alliance ever formed to defend our common security.
Look at Berlin, where the bullet holes in the buildings and the somber stones and pillars near the Brandenburg Gate insist that we never forget our common humanity.
People of the world – look at Berlin, where a wall came down, a continent came together, and history proved that there is no challenge too great for a world that stands as one.
Sixty years after the airlift, we are called upon again. History has led us to a new crossroad, with new promise and new peril. When you, the German people, tore down that wall – a wall that divided East and West; freedom and tyranny; fear and hope – walls came tumbling down around the world. From Kiev to Cape Town, prison camps were closed, and the doors of democracy were opened. Markets opened too, and the spread of information and technology reduced barriers to opportunity and prosperity. While the 20th century taught us that we share a common destiny, the 21st has revealed a world more intertwined than at any time in human history.
The fall of the Berlin Wall brought new hope. But that very closeness has given rise to new dangers – dangers that cannot be contained within the borders of a country or by the distance of an ocean.
The terrorists of September 11th plotted in Hamburg and trained in Kandahar and Karachi before killing thousands from all over the globe on American soil.
As we speak, cars in Boston and factories in Beijing are melting the ice caps in the Arctic, shrinking coastlines in the Atlantic, and bringing drought to farms from Kansas to Kenya.
Poorly secured nuclear material in the former Soviet Union, or secrets from a scientist in Pakistan could help build a bomb that detonates in Paris. The poppies in Afghanistan become the heroin in Berlin. The poverty and violence in Somalia breeds the terror of tomorrow. The genocide in Darfur shames the conscience of us all.
In this new world, such dangerous currents have swept along faster than our efforts to contain them. That is why we cannot afford to be divided. No one nation, no matter how large or powerful, can defeat such challenges alone. None of us can deny these threats, or escape responsibility in meeting them. Yet, in the absence of Soviet tanks and a terrible wall, it has become easy to forget this truth. And if we’re honest with each other, we know that sometimes, on both sides of the Atlantic, we have drifted apart, and forgotten our shared destiny.
In Europe, the view that America is part of what has gone wrong in our world, rather than a force to help make it right, has become all too common. In America, there are voices that deride and deny the importance of Europe’s role in our security and our future. Both views miss the truth – that Europeans today are bearing new burdens and taking more responsibility in critical parts of the world; and that just as American bases built in the last century still help to defend the security of this continent, so does our country still sacrifice greatly for freedom around the globe.
Yes, there have been differences between America and Europe. No doubt, there will be differences in the future. But the burdens of global citizenship continue to bind us together. A change of leadership in Washington will not lift this burden. In this new century, Americans and Europeans alike will be required to do more – not less. Partnership and cooperation among nations is not a choice; it is the one way, the only way, to protect our common security and advance our common humanity.
That is why the greatest danger of all is to allow new walls to divide us from one another. The walls between old allies on either side of the Atlantic cannot stand. The walls between the countries with the most and those with the least cannot stand. The walls between races and tribes; natives and immigrants; Christian and Muslim and Jew cannot stand. These now are the walls we must tear down.
We know they have fallen before. After centuries of strife, the people of Europe have formed a Union of promise and prosperity. Here, at the base of a column built to mark victory in war, we meet in the center of a Europe at peace. Not only have walls come down in Berlin, but they have come down in Belfast, where Protestant and Catholic found a way to live together; in the Balkans, where our Atlantic alliance ended wars and brought savage war criminals to justice; and in South Africa, where the struggle of a courageous people defeated apartheid.
So history reminds us that walls can be torn down. But the task is never easy. True partnership and true progress requires constant work and sustained sacrifice. They require sharing the burdens of development and diplomacy; of progress and peace. They require allies who will listen to each other, learn from each other and, most of all, trust each other.
That is why America cannot turn inward. That is why Europe cannot turn inward. America has no better partner than Europe. Now is the time to build new bridges across the globe as strong as the one that bound us across the Atlantic. Now is the time to join together, through constant cooperation, strong institutions, shared sacrifice, and a global commitment to progress, to meet the challenges of the 21st century. It was this spirit that led airlift planes to appear in the sky above our heads, and people to assemble where we stand today. And this is the moment when our nations – and all nations – must summon that spirit anew.
This is the moment when we must defeat terror and dry up the well of extremism that supports it. This threat is real and we cannot shrink from our responsibility to combat it. If we could create NATO to face down the Soviet Union, we can join in a new and global partnership to dismantle the networks that have struck in Madrid and Amman; in London and Bali; in Washington and New York. If we could win a battle of ideas against the communists, we can stand with the vast majority of Muslims who reject the extremism that leads to hate instead of hope.
This is the moment when we must renew our resolve to rout the terrorists who threaten our security in Afghanistan, and the traffickers who sell drugs on your streets. No one welcomes war. I recognize the enormous difficulties in Afghanistan. But my country and yours have a stake in seeing that NATO’s first mission beyond Europe’s borders is a success. For the people of Afghanistan, and for our shared security, the work must be done. America cannot do this alone. The Afghan people need our troops and your troops; our support and your support to defeat the Taliban and al Qaeda, to develop their economy, and to help them rebuild their nation. We have too much at stake to turn back now.
This is the moment when we must renew the goal of a world without nuclear weapons. The two superpowers that faced each other across the wall of this city came too close too often to destroying all we have built and all that we love. With that wall gone, we need not stand idly by and watch the further spread of the deadly atom. It is time to secure all loose nuclear materials; to stop the spread of nuclear weapons; and to reduce the arsenals from another era. This is the moment to begin the work of seeking the peace of a world without nuclear weapons.
This is the moment when every nation in Europe must have the chance to choose its own tomorrow free from the shadows of yesterday. In this century, we need a strong European Union that deepens the security and prosperity of this continent, while extending a hand abroad. In this century – in this city of all cities – we must reject the Cold War mind-set of the past, and resolve to work with Russia when we can, to stand up for our values when we must, and to seek a partnership that extends across this entire continent.
This is the moment when we must build on the wealth that open markets have created, and share its benefits more equitably. Trade has been a cornerstone of our growth and global development. But we will not be able to sustain this growth if it favors the few, and not the many. Together, we must forge trade that truly rewards the work that creates wealth, with meaningful protections for our people and our planet. This is the moment for trade that is free and fair for all.
This is the moment we must help answer the call for a new dawn in the Middle East. My country must stand with yours and with Europe in sending a direct message to Iran that it must abandon its nuclear ambitions. We must support the Lebanese who have marched and bled for democracy, and the Israelis and Palestinians who seek a secure and lasting peace. And despite past differences, this is the moment when the world should support the millions of Iraqis who seek to rebuild their lives, even as we pass responsibility to the Iraqi government and finally bring this war to a close.
This is the moment when we must come together to save this planet. Let us resolve that we will not leave our children a world where the oceans rise and famine spreads and terrible storms devastate our lands. Let us resolve that all nations – including my own – will act with the same seriousness of purpose as has your nation, and reduce the carbon we send into our atmosphere. This is the moment to give our children back their future. This is the moment to stand as one.
And this is the moment when we must give hope to those left behind in a globalized world. We must remember that the Cold War born in this city was not a battle for land or treasure. Sixty years ago, the planes that flew over Berlin did not drop bombs; instead they delivered food, and coal, and candy to grateful children. And in that show of solidarity, those pilots won more than a military victory. They won hearts and minds; love and loyalty and trust – not just from the people in this city, but from all those who heard the story of what they did here.
Now the world will watch and remember what we do here – what we do with this moment. Will we extend our hand to the people in the forgotten corners of this world who yearn for lives marked by dignity and opportunity; by security and justice? Will we lift the child in Bangladesh from poverty, shelter the refugee in Chad, and banish the scourge of AIDS in our time?
Will we stand for the human rights of the dissident in Burma, the blogger in Iran, or the voter in Zimbabwe? Will we give meaning to the words “never again” in Darfur?
Will we acknowledge that there is no more powerful example than the one each of our nations projects to the world? Will we reject torture and stand for the rule of law? Will we welcome immigrants from different lands, and shun discrimination against those who don’t look like us or worship like we do, and keep the promise of equality and opportunity for all of our people?
People of Berlin – people of the world – this is our moment. This is our time.
I know my country has not perfected itself. At times, we’ve struggled to keep the promise of liberty and equality for all of our people. We’ve made our share of mistakes, and there are times when our actions around the world have not lived up to our best intentions.
But I also know how much I love America. I know that for more than two centuries, we have strived – at great cost and great sacrifice – to form a more perfect union; to seek, with other nations, a more hopeful world. Our allegiance has never been to any particular tribe or kingdom – indeed, every language is spoken in our country; every culture has left its imprint on ours; every point of view is expressed in our public squares. What has always united us – what has always driven our people; what drew my father to America’s shores – is a set of ideals that speak to aspirations shared by all people: that we can live free from fear and free from want; that we can speak our minds and assemble with whomever we choose and worship as we please.
These are the aspirations that joined the fates of all nations in this city. These aspirations are bigger than anything that drives us apart. It is because of these aspirations that the airlift began. It is because of these aspirations that all free people – everywhere – became citizens of Berlin. It is in pursuit of these aspirations that a new generation – our generation – must make our mark on the world.
People of Berlin – and people of the world – the scale of our challenge is great. The road ahead will be long. But I come before you to say that we are heirs to a struggle for freedom. We are a people of improbable hope. With an eye toward the future, with resolve in our hearts, let us remember this history, and answer our destiny, and remake the world once again.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
And now back to scenes from the dugout...
Granted, they were all in their 50s, but still.
Overheard in the beer-swillin', chops-bustin' dugout last night:
Guy 1: "Man I'd so do Faye Dunaway."
Guy 2: "You know who was hot back in the day? I'll give initials: M. O."
Guy 3: "Maureen O'Hara?"
Guy 2: "Yup."
Guy 4: "Quiet Man was awesome and she was hot in it."
Guy 2: "I'd need only 20 seconds with Goldie Hawn. In fact, I'd give my left nut just for the chance."
Guy 1: "Susan Sarandon is hot, too."
Overheard in the beer-swillin', chops-bustin' dugout last night:
Guy 1: "Man I'd so do Faye Dunaway."
Guy 2: "You know who was hot back in the day? I'll give initials: M. O."
Guy 3: "Maureen O'Hara?"
Guy 2: "Yup."
Guy 4: "Quiet Man was awesome and she was hot in it."
Guy 2: "I'd need only 20 seconds with Goldie Hawn. In fact, I'd give my left nut just for the chance."
Guy 1: "Susan Sarandon is hot, too."
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
Wait. We've seen her before. Huh. Wait. She looks really familiar. Don't tell us. Don't tell us.
Wait. Seriously. We got this. Just give us a second.
Ha! She's that girl from the Dairy Queen in Cape May we saw that one time! No. Wait. She's the girl we saw bartending at Red that one time! Huh. No. That's not it. Oh yeah. She's the girl who fell off her stool at that bar during that Yankee game that one time!
No?
Huh. Totally stumped. No clue who she -- and her myriad untranslatable tattoos -- is. She seems so, um, Jersey Shorish, though.
We sometimes wish we had one.
So yeah. The Sneetches. This is our favorite book.
We were talking about it last night. We even mentioned our character motivation for the voice of Sylvester McMonkey McBean, who does kind of sound like Morgan Freeman + over-acting Jimmy Stewart + Larry the Cable Guy or maybe Boss Hogg.
But what a sweet story of redemption and morals. There's no such thing as "better" than someone else based on look, or culture, alone. There's no such thing as entitlement. So what if we spent sophomore year of college, um, experimenting and studying the pictures for "hidden meaning" ("Look! What does that candle holder *really* look like?").
Dr. Seuss had game, yo.
Sunday, July 20, 2008
Um.
"Vaseline?" she asked. "What's the Vaseline for?"
"Oh," we said. "Sometimes we get dry hands in the wintertime."
"Oh," we said. "Sometimes we get dry hands in the wintertime."
Saturday, July 19, 2008
Oh with the Hamlet
So yeah, some of you know how we're all with the teaching now. Like, seriously. Obsessed with becoming OMG the best teacher ever, us. And we will be. Totally.
So Thursday, while observing a teacher and his summer school class, we learned something very valuable. In the oldern days of Shakespeare, the word "Gis" was short for "Jesus Christ" and the word "Cock" was used in place of God.
You write your own joke.
So Thursday, while observing a teacher and his summer school class, we learned something very valuable. In the oldern days of Shakespeare, the word "Gis" was short for "Jesus Christ" and the word "Cock" was used in place of God.
You write your own joke.
Tuesday, July 15, 2008
Blame the coffee and a good night's sleep
It's THREEFER TUESDAY in these here parts...
Dear Sarah,
We know you were f*cking Matt Damon, and we know Kimmel has the hilarious, but you should check out our Match profile. It's really all you need to know about us. We have fun pictures of ourselves and our dashing, extra-on-the-set looks, and we totally OMG brrrrinnngggg the funny. Ahem. Haaaa-hem. To wit:
I'm a fan of complete sentences and grammar. I'm not a fan of hahahhaaa extraaaa lettersssss and ridiculous typos in emails. I love me some alliteration, as well.
I'm a fan of having music on constantly. All music. All genres. All the time. And I'm a fan of my guitars. I'm a fan of living room sets. The music kind, not the Ashley Furniture kind.
I'm a huge fan of people watching.
I'm a fan of the right side of the bed.
I'm a fan of compromise, though, so the whole right side thing isn't a deal breaker.
I'm a fan of Philly, Jersey, people who go for it, and any time Amy Ryan is onscreen. I'm not a fan of Living Lohan.
I stop whatever it is I'm doing whenever The Wire or Six Feet Under is on the On Demand. But not so much with anything remotely Sex and the City. No. I will not see this movie with you.
So yeah. Sarah. Babe. Ring us on our mobile or wink at us on the Match. Don't just sing it, Sweetie, bring it.
Dear Sarah,
We know you were f*cking Matt Damon, and we know Kimmel has the hilarious, but you should check out our Match profile. It's really all you need to know about us. We have fun pictures of ourselves and our dashing, extra-on-the-set looks, and we totally OMG brrrrinnngggg the funny. Ahem. Haaaa-hem. To wit:
I'm a fan of complete sentences and grammar. I'm not a fan of hahahhaaa extraaaa lettersssss and ridiculous typos in emails. I love me some alliteration, as well.
I'm a fan of having music on constantly. All music. All genres. All the time. And I'm a fan of my guitars. I'm a fan of living room sets. The music kind, not the Ashley Furniture kind.
I'm a huge fan of people watching.
I'm a fan of the right side of the bed.
I'm a fan of compromise, though, so the whole right side thing isn't a deal breaker.
I'm a fan of Philly, Jersey, people who go for it, and any time Amy Ryan is onscreen. I'm not a fan of Living Lohan.
I stop whatever it is I'm doing whenever The Wire or Six Feet Under is on the On Demand. But not so much with anything remotely Sex and the City. No. I will not see this movie with you.
So yeah. Sarah. Babe. Ring us on our mobile or wink at us on the Match. Don't just sing it, Sweetie, bring it.
Flip this.
Now check the Engaged Guy, unless you're him and you're the only one reading. Because that'd be f*cked up. A gatrillion interwebs readers and sites, and the one guy reading our hysterically awesome original and jzish blog is the same guy we owe $30 for paintball and not shooting him during the whole shoot the bachelor thing because we were flanking left when everyone else flanked right.
We *heart* Chase Utley
"Boo? F*ck you."
So utterly not Chase, but come on, is this a big deal?
We think not. We think it's also ridiculous that he had to apologize. But also note how quickly he did. Chase is the man and maybe our favorite Phillie of all time, which says a lot, given the whole Schmidt, Trillo, Kruk and Ashburn thing.
So utterly not Chase, but come on, is this a big deal?
We think not. We think it's also ridiculous that he had to apologize. But also note how quickly he did. Chase is the man and maybe our favorite Phillie of all time, which says a lot, given the whole Schmidt, Trillo, Kruk and Ashburn thing.
Monday, July 14, 2008
So we're dating.
We'd spent a lot of time over the last year specifically not dating. We'd like to think it was because we were refueling, so to speak. Refueling for what, though, we have no clue.
So we're dating.
Y'all know about the match. We are a magnet for the women in their late 30s on the match who "don't want games" and "just want someone respectful to converse with." Oh with the winking, these very nice women with even nicer, um, personalities. We'd like to think we're still in our *early* 30s, because we are, and while we are respectful and a master conversationalist, we'd also like to think we have some of the dirty.
So we're dating.
We don't know how we feel about this, yet. It's way stressful. Can one date plural people? When one communicates this to his present paramour, does one risk a slapping? What if one *enjoys* this slapping? And why are we already thinking about having this conversation with said paramour? Why are we calling her a paramour? Is having the dirty a problem? Slapping?
So we're dating.
Which means we, um, groom ourselves more and clean our bathroom *and* the shelves in the fridge and actually, you know, wash our sheets. It also means we blurt things out like, "Yeah, we quit the porn" over dinner.
So yeah, we're dating.
So we're dating.
Y'all know about the match. We are a magnet for the women in their late 30s on the match who "don't want games" and "just want someone respectful to converse with." Oh with the winking, these very nice women with even nicer, um, personalities. We'd like to think we're still in our *early* 30s, because we are, and while we are respectful and a master conversationalist, we'd also like to think we have some of the dirty.
So we're dating.
We don't know how we feel about this, yet. It's way stressful. Can one date plural people? When one communicates this to his present paramour, does one risk a slapping? What if one *enjoys* this slapping? And why are we already thinking about having this conversation with said paramour? Why are we calling her a paramour? Is having the dirty a problem? Slapping?
So we're dating.
Which means we, um, groom ourselves more and clean our bathroom *and* the shelves in the fridge and actually, you know, wash our sheets. It also means we blurt things out like, "Yeah, we quit the porn" over dinner.
So yeah, we're dating.
Saturday, July 12, 2008
Old Man Sap
Moms, to Pops, the other day at dinner: "Why didn't you ask for a pinch runner?"
Pops, back to Moms: "Because you were there."
Moms: "You didn't want a runner because I was there?"
Pops: "Yes."
So yes, maybe we do believe in love afterall.
Pops, back to Moms: "Because you were there."
Moms: "You didn't want a runner because I was there?"
Pops: "Yes."
So yes, maybe we do believe in love afterall.
Thursday, July 10, 2008
And now back to we say/they say on the Match
Us, in our profile...
"I'm a fan of complete sentences and grammar. I'm not a fan of hahahhaaa extraaaa lettersssss and ridiculous typos in emails. I love me some alliteration, as well."
And...
Favorite Things: In the summer? Sitting on my porch with a guitar and beer. Oh. And long romantic walks in the park, hand-in-hand with my paramour talking about the wonderfully well-behaved yet strangely issue-laden Ivy Leaguers we'll certainly have one day.
And now the responses:
1. "Thoroughly enjoyed your profile, it actually made me laugh aloud. Course the clincher was you are quite the wordsmith and entertained me. Congratulations! I mean that in the most least snotty way of course."
2. "Could I be more of a fan of your writing? I doubt it. I am quite impressed, however I must tell you I am a horrible speller. Hopefully, we can work past that."
3. "Hey grammar freak..."
Ah, the Match. Cheaper than the other online hobby and quite the summer distraction.
"I'm a fan of complete sentences and grammar. I'm not a fan of hahahhaaa extraaaa lettersssss and ridiculous typos in emails. I love me some alliteration, as well."
And...
Favorite Things: In the summer? Sitting on my porch with a guitar and beer. Oh. And long romantic walks in the park, hand-in-hand with my paramour talking about the wonderfully well-behaved yet strangely issue-laden Ivy Leaguers we'll certainly have one day.
And now the responses:
1. "Thoroughly enjoyed your profile, it actually made me laugh aloud. Course the clincher was you are quite the wordsmith and entertained me. Congratulations! I mean that in the most least snotty way of course."
2. "Could I be more of a fan of your writing? I doubt it. I am quite impressed, however I must tell you I am a horrible speller. Hopefully, we can work past that."
3. "Hey grammar freak..."
Ah, the Match. Cheaper than the other online hobby and quite the summer distraction.
Wednesday, July 09, 2008
Lesson Learned
"Oh no," she said, "you can't make your students do things like clean the chalkboard or sweep the floor in your classroom."
For the record, we then made a hammer joke that may or may not have invoked the word, "Dad." Man these kids these days with their cannot be punished for any reason.
Rant? No. But we are very close to raising a generation of big moist, well, you get it.
For the record, we then made a hammer joke that may or may not have invoked the word, "Dad." Man these kids these days with their cannot be punished for any reason.
Rant? No. But we are very close to raising a generation of big moist, well, you get it.
Tuesday, July 08, 2008
And now back to things we would have said at the roast if not for the overwhelming feeling that *we'd* be the one who bombs.
To the host: "Hey, here's a napkin. You have the flop sweat on your brow."
What. Nothin'?
No seriously. We would've probably said, "What. Nothin'?"
To the bachelor: "Thanks so much for unasking (us) to sing at your wedding."
To the bachelor, again: "Sorry. What. Too soon?"
To the room: "Wow. So *this* is what a NAMBLA conference is like."
And that's what it's like to be Old Man Snap. Weeks to prepare material. Don't prepare material. Choke by over-laughing at the roast to make up for said lack of material. Beat self up about not bringing the funny material.
Think of good material. The next morning. Tell it on the drive home alone and laugh hysterically. Repeat. Then blog about it three days later because you're still thinking about it.
Yay! Issues!
What. Nothin'?
No seriously. We would've probably said, "What. Nothin'?"
To the bachelor: "Thanks so much for unasking (us) to sing at your wedding."
To the bachelor, again: "Sorry. What. Too soon?"
To the room: "Wow. So *this* is what a NAMBLA conference is like."
And that's what it's like to be Old Man Snap. Weeks to prepare material. Don't prepare material. Choke by over-laughing at the roast to make up for said lack of material. Beat self up about not bringing the funny material.
Think of good material. The next morning. Tell it on the drive home alone and laugh hysterically. Repeat. Then blog about it three days later because you're still thinking about it.
Yay! Issues!
Monday, July 07, 2008
Again with the dreams...
Nevermind that we woke up this morning, nine-plus hours later and very, very refreshed, with this song in our head.
And nevermind that we had a nightmare about being pulled from a softball game in the first inning because we were misplaying *everything* hit to us.
We're sure they're not even remotely connected.
And again with the freaking low disk space. All we're doing is "streaming" Heart videos on the Interwebs.
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Where we'll be on Aug. 7
From the Star-Ledger: Pearl Jam frontman Eddie Vedder is embarking on a rare solo tour next month, and he is coming to Newark.
He will appear at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center on Aug. 7.
Tickets, $65 to $75, go on sale at 1 p.m. July 11. Call (888) 466-5722 or visit njpac.org.
Vedder will also perform at the United Palace theater in New York, on Aug. 4-5. Tickets, $75, also go on sale at 1 p.m. July 11. Call (201) 507-8900 or visit ticketmaster.com.
Liam Finn will open the shows. For pre-sale information, visit pearljam.com.
Vedder released his first solo album, the soundtrack for the movie "Into the Wild," in September, and toured as a solo artist for the first time in April, on the West Coast. His upcoming tour runs from Aug. 1, in Boston, to Aug. 22, in Chicago.
He will appear at the New Jersey Performing Arts Center on Aug. 7.
Tickets, $65 to $75, go on sale at 1 p.m. July 11. Call (888) 466-5722 or visit njpac.org.
Vedder will also perform at the United Palace theater in New York, on Aug. 4-5. Tickets, $75, also go on sale at 1 p.m. July 11. Call (201) 507-8900 or visit ticketmaster.com.
Liam Finn will open the shows. For pre-sale information, visit pearljam.com.
Vedder released his first solo album, the soundtrack for the movie "Into the Wild," in September, and toured as a solo artist for the first time in April, on the West Coast. His upcoming tour runs from Aug. 1, in Boston, to Aug. 22, in Chicago.
Wednesday, July 02, 2008
And then we were inspired...
We think it's hysterical that on one softball team -- yes, we said *soft* *ball* -- we get lambasted with talk of having the gay because, well, we're unique. Yet then tonight, when on a different team, one of the guys went around the dugout and tried to get all up in everyone else's bizznatch with the ass-smacking and the saying to relax, no one said a word. Huh.
Go for anal in the dugout and one isn't accused of having the gay. But be a li'l flamboyant and always matching the high socks with the Phillies cap, and one is. Interesting. Frankly, it's a compliment anyway. Right?
Speaking of all up in everyone else's bizznatch and not having the gay, here's Audrina!
Go for anal in the dugout and one isn't accused of having the gay. But be a li'l flamboyant and always matching the high socks with the Phillies cap, and one is. Interesting. Frankly, it's a compliment anyway. Right?
Speaking of all up in everyone else's bizznatch and not having the gay, here's Audrina!
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