So OMS met a legit cat lady this evening, and it was every bit as creepy as one would expect.
Your hero walked into the downstairs laundry room and saw her hovering over the sink, washing a blouse. The water ran loud enough to mask OMS's lumbering feet, so he cleared his throat, quietly, and said, "Excuse me, I didn't want to scare you, so, um, hi, I'm here in the laundry room. Just. Doin'. Some laundry."
"(TURNS SLOWLY. STARES BLANKLY. TILTS HEAD)," she replied.
"So I'm just going to use this one, here," OMS said, still calm.
"OK BECAUSE I'M NOT USING IT," she kind of half-shrieked, half-whispered.
OMS swore he smelled cat poo on his quick exit out of what fast-became a dungeon and potential for his ugly demise.
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So OMS is at his favorite li'l bagel joint this morning and he sees him a cute li'l English muffin sandwich on the counter.
"Awwww," he says. "That's the cutest li'l English muffin sandwich I ever did see."
"Yeah," says his friend behind the counter. "You'd need more than that to fill you."
"(Why I oughta...)," replies your hero, silently and in his head.
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