So in last night's dream, Ellen Pompeo is tending bar and all we wanted to do was order another Guinness.
She'd been making those sparkly, sexy eyes at us all night, and we weren't biting. After the way she treated George, what would she do to Old Man Snap? Plus, she was a bartender. Sparkly, sexy eyes is what they do.
In turn, we did what any self-protecting/loathing/deprecating Norm Peterson would do. We ignored her when she tried to talk to us while waiting for the Guinness to settle. And we ate beer nuts.
"Old Man," she said, eyes still sparking. "HEY! Do you want to go out with me or what?"
"Huh?" we replied, taken somewhat by surprise, even though Ellen Pompeo is tending bar and flirting her ass off with us and we're dreaming this, every last second of it. "Well. Sure. But only if we agree there's no future whatsoever."
And then Ellen Pompeo reached across the bar and kissed us on the cheek.
"You're too cute," she said. "It's a deal."
We maybe blushed.
2 comments:
1) I don't know who Rachel Pompeo is.
2) You know lots of random celebrities. Female celebrities. Teenage female celebrities.
3) The leaving comments to your own blog posts is sorta strange. We definitely *sorta* love it, but strange.
4) We don't know what the astericks are for.
5) We're not sure if we can spell astericks.
6) You totally didn't put a link for the good, incredibly hot pics of Miss Nevada. J.N. is certainly very disappointed.
7) Making fun of trannies? 2004.
Dear matt katz, thanks so much for your input and interest in the Porch and the Parking Lot. We hope that you continue reading and view your time online as time well-spent. Best of luck in all of your endeavors.
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