Always with the "all the lights are changing red to green" when we should be singing "green to red" in the first verse. But we don't have OHMYGODJOHNMAYER fans screaming in the background.
Yet.
***
On a side note, "Now you gotta go for real" is one of our favorite quotes of the year.
And this is one of the best stories we've seen in a long time. You go, J-Mac. "I was hotter than a pistol" is one of our other favorite quotes of the year. Go on with your badself.
Thank goodness for the YouTube.
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
So Alan Patton likes to drink li'l boys urine.* Right, then. That's pretty much all you have to know about Alan Patton. Well, that, and he looks like a kid toucher.
Man. All we have to tell you about ourselves is we can't wait to go buy the Walk the Line tonight. And All the President's Men. And Supertramp's Greatest Hits, mainly because we can't find it on the iTunes. Admit it. You love the Supertramp, you dreamer, you.
* You sick, sick f*ck, you.
Man. All we have to tell you about ourselves is we can't wait to go buy the Walk the Line tonight. And All the President's Men. And Supertramp's Greatest Hits, mainly because we can't find it on the iTunes. Admit it. You love the Supertramp, you dreamer, you.
* You sick, sick f*ck, you.
Monday, February 27, 2006
Saturday, February 25, 2006
Things we learned at the pub tonight
In no particular order, really.
How to end a conversation in .8 seconds...
SOPRANOS EXTRA: HEY! You follow dese Olympics?
OMS: No, not really.
How to spot That Guy In So Not A Good Way Who Says "I'm Playing" Every Other Sentence...
THAT GUY IN SO NOT A GOOD WAY WHO SAYS "I'M PLAYING" EVERY OTHER SENTENCE: Are you gay?
OMS: No. Should (we) be?
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: Nah. Heh heh. I'm just playing. This guy here is, though (grabs friend by collar).
OMS: Good. How's that working out for you?
FRIEND: I'm not really gay.
How to know TGISNAGWWSIPEOS is the biggest asshole ever...
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: Hey! Who's the toughest guy in Denville?
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: Hey! (points to diplomatic fiance) Isn't she pretty?
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: Hey! How do you fight when you fight? (Waits for answer but doesn't). I hit this guy in Denville with the back of my hand. The cops thought it was a bottle. But it wasn't. I got him with the back of my hand. Right honey?
HONEY: Right. But we don't fight anymore. It's too expensive.
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: That's right, honey. I had to have like $1,000.
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: Hey! Gay guy! You want another beer?
How to spot the Mustache Guy With No Clue...
MUSTACHE GUY WITH NO CLUE: Do you have the Harp here?
BARTENDER: What's the name on the door? Dublin Pub? Yes. We have Harp here. We also have Guinness.
How to spot the Chick With Potential...
CHICK WITH POTENTIAL: We'll have what he's having. A Black and Tan.
OMS: (Silent, thinks, "But it's a Half-and-Half").
CHICK WITH POTENTIAL: (Slams Black and Tan in one hot minute because non-drinking boyfriend wants to jet).
And END SCENE(S).
How to end a conversation in .8 seconds...
SOPRANOS EXTRA: HEY! You follow dese Olympics?
OMS: No, not really.
How to spot That Guy In So Not A Good Way Who Says "I'm Playing" Every Other Sentence...
THAT GUY IN SO NOT A GOOD WAY WHO SAYS "I'M PLAYING" EVERY OTHER SENTENCE: Are you gay?
OMS: No. Should (we) be?
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: Nah. Heh heh. I'm just playing. This guy here is, though (grabs friend by collar).
OMS: Good. How's that working out for you?
FRIEND: I'm not really gay.
How to know TGISNAGWWSIPEOS is the biggest asshole ever...
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: Hey! Who's the toughest guy in Denville?
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: Hey! (points to diplomatic fiance) Isn't she pretty?
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: Hey! How do you fight when you fight? (Waits for answer but doesn't). I hit this guy in Denville with the back of my hand. The cops thought it was a bottle. But it wasn't. I got him with the back of my hand. Right honey?
HONEY: Right. But we don't fight anymore. It's too expensive.
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: That's right, honey. I had to have like $1,000.
TGISNAGWWSIPEOS: Hey! Gay guy! You want another beer?
How to spot the Mustache Guy With No Clue...
MUSTACHE GUY WITH NO CLUE: Do you have the Harp here?
BARTENDER: What's the name on the door? Dublin Pub? Yes. We have Harp here. We also have Guinness.
How to spot the Chick With Potential...
CHICK WITH POTENTIAL: We'll have what he's having. A Black and Tan.
OMS: (Silent, thinks, "But it's a Half-and-Half").
CHICK WITH POTENTIAL: (Slams Black and Tan in one hot minute because non-drinking boyfriend wants to jet).
And END SCENE(S).
And about as much hilarity ensued as one would think would if one would find such things funny
Toward the end of the day Friday, we realized that even if we don't leave our job soon, at least we'll be entertained. For the most part. Every once in awhile. But man when that entertainment hits, we put on our laughing caps, that's fer sure.
To wit:
LADY NO ONE LIKE, WHOSE CUBICLE WE STOLE TWO YEARS AGO WHEN WE MOVED OFFICES: Oh you must be getting soooo excited talking about those spreadsheets. I get all tingly just thinking about them!
LADY WHO DIDN'T GET IT: Not really, no. But I wish I got the same feeling you did.
(Enter new lady).
LADY NO ONE LIKE, WHOSE CUBICLE WE STOLE TWO YEARS AGO WHEN WE MOVED OFFICES: (Says to New Lady) I'm watching them have fun with the SPREADSHEET!!! I was saying she gets a tingle in her body like I do just looking at them!
And END SCENE.
(Remember kids, when you think you're funny, tell the joke as much as possible, over and over again in the course of two minutes, until someone laughs. Even if it's uncomfortable laughter because no one likes you, joke away! And make sure you use exclamation points to prove your point!).
Ech.
To wit:
LADY NO ONE LIKE, WHOSE CUBICLE WE STOLE TWO YEARS AGO WHEN WE MOVED OFFICES: Oh you must be getting soooo excited talking about those spreadsheets. I get all tingly just thinking about them!
LADY WHO DIDN'T GET IT: Not really, no. But I wish I got the same feeling you did.
(Enter new lady).
LADY NO ONE LIKE, WHOSE CUBICLE WE STOLE TWO YEARS AGO WHEN WE MOVED OFFICES: (Says to New Lady) I'm watching them have fun with the SPREADSHEET!!! I was saying she gets a tingle in her body like I do just looking at them!
And END SCENE.
(Remember kids, when you think you're funny, tell the joke as much as possible, over and over again in the course of two minutes, until someone laughs. Even if it's uncomfortable laughter because no one likes you, joke away! And make sure you use exclamation points to prove your point!).
Ech.
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