How to win dames and influence broads

"I have a friend I want to set you up with," our friend said.

"Yeah," we replied. "Well..."

"Would you date a 33-year-old?"

"Well," we said, "um..."

"She looks like she's 21, though."

"Um. So. Here's the thing. Relationships. It's just. (We're) not very good at them, nor are we really looking for one. It never ends well, right?"

Christ. We might as well have said, "Everybody dies."

So there endeth the great Wednesday setting-upping.

***
This reminds us.

Line of the night on New Year's Eve/Day?

Seconds after midnight: "Happy New Year! All your hopes and dreams will vanish!"

And no. We didn't say it.

Bastards.