Tapping out

Hey y'all,

Thank you for reading over the years. You loyal readers have made this fun. Since October 2005, we've tried to bring ourselves some sanity and you some form of insight -- both into our minds and to how f*cked the world is.

We don't know. We might go work on Obama's campaign or some sh*t. We'll be back. We just don't know when. Always with the uncertainty, we know. It keeps us grounded. Until then, peace.

- OMS

The great washing of the hogs

"Hogwash," he says, a month later and looking a tad disheveled.

And 25 years of a solid reputation? Dude, you threw at Mike Piazza's head and then chucked his broken bat at him. Integrity our ass.

We don't know what gets us most, really. What about Wallace interviewing his friend? Clemens waiting so long to get all his ducks in a row? Clemens saying he doesn't want to spend money on a legal battle to clear his name?

This is why society saddens us.

Goodbye, dreams

PISCES: Right now things are getting a bit stale, and you need to make some room in your life for new ideas and people -- so get cleaning! You know deep down inside that in your heart there are more than a few old exes, forgotten dreams, and outdated philosophies that need to get tossed. Don't worry -- saying goodbye to your dreams now doesn't mean you are saying goodbye forever. It just means you are shifting focus to more productive areas of your life.

Who says goodbye to dreams? Horoscopes be trippin' lately, yo.

When job searches go horribly wrong

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Trapped. Suffocating, even.

Yay for Saturday night job searches! Now what the f*ck do these things mean, anyway?

What You Do

--Develop and implement tactics based on strategies that will ensure delivery of results
--Maintain the standards of quality work product that we’re damn well known for
--Pay meticulous attention to DETAILS
--Work closely with C-levels to own success of your accounts. We want you to succeed.

We want us to succeed, too!

And there's more!

Comedycentral.com is seeking a Community Manager. This Community Manager will be responsible for the development, growth, and ongoing maintenance of the community.
Responsibilities:
Champion and develop ways to integrate/extend current community offerings throughout Comedycentral.com and its verticals.
Monitor community activity and report back on usage trends
Identify opportunities for production teams
Stimulate and provide topics of conversation within communities
Identify key community members and develop reward- and validation- based systems to help stimulate activity amongst users
Organize groups within current communities around our content offerings
Responsible for monitoring of the moderation service of user posts and submission, but hands-on moderation will be required also
Pro-actively seek, analyze, understand and recommend new trends/technologies in the online community space

Look. We have a very good friend who constantly has his eye on the prize because he knows what he wants out of his career, and he has the skills for it. He also comments a lot, but that's beside the point. We also have a very good friend who just quit his job to chase what he actually wants to do -- ah, modicum of desire.

And then there's us. We're a pretty good writer and outstanding talker. Give us something to champion and we'll sell that sh*t, no doubt. But what the f*ck are we supposed to be doing?

It's enough to rejoin the Brazzers. Er. No it's not.

How to win dames and influence broads

"I have a friend I want to set you up with," our friend said.

"Yeah," we replied. "Well..."

"Would you date a 33-year-old?"

"Well," we said, "um..."

"She looks like she's 21, though."

"Um. So. Here's the thing. Relationships. It's just. (We're) not very good at them, nor are we really looking for one. It never ends well, right?"

Christ. We might as well have said, "Everybody dies."

So there endeth the great Wednesday setting-upping.

***
This reminds us.

Line of the night on New Year's Eve/Day?

Seconds after midnight: "Happy New Year! All your hopes and dreams will vanish!"

And no. We didn't say it.

Bastards.

*yaaaaaaaaawn*

So we just slept for about 10 1/2 hours. Yay us.

And, um, we go back to work today.

So yeah, that just about covers that.