This is fantastic. We know this.

From the AP: The mayor of a Siberian oil town has ordered his bureaucrats to stop using expressions such as "I don't know" and "I can't." Or look for another job.

Alexander Kuzmin, the 33-year-old mayor of Megion, has banned these and 25 other phrases as a way to make his administration more efficient, his spokeswoman said Tuesday.

"It's a suggestion to the staff that they should think before saying something," Oksana Shestakova said by telephone. "To say `I don't know' is the same as admitting your helplessness."

Our boss says she doesn't know all the damn time. She also abruptly gets off the phone because she "has to go" all the damn time when we have questions about big, important, things. We've often wished she'd end up in Siberia, but we didn't realize she could actually get her learn on there.

Yay! Political insight!

So the President is all "I'm salutin'" and the troops are all thanks for coming but we'd probably like to be home at the beach next summer so we can sit in traffic for like ever Sunday night and barbecue with our, we don't know, *families* on Monday and Bush is all, "Soon, folks, but you see here, we got this war I said we won four years ago but we're still fightin' it now 'cause that's how we do" and J.T. is all I can see us holding hands, walkin' on the beach our toes in the sand and shout out to the troops in Iraq while I do this shot of Tequilla and roll naked in my millions after my HBO show with my stunning good looks, charm and abs and the President is *still* all, "Don't believe the hype, y'all, and trust me, we need to stay the course and be focused and wait, who brought that mirror? I told you people not to bring mirrors around me because when I see that there reflection there, I look like my daddy and it scares me somethin' fierce."

Just to clarify.

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Pisces Monthly Horoscope for September: This month you focus on communication. Sure, you're always pretty communication-oriented, but starting on the 1st and continuing all month long, what you're saying and thinking and feeling is even more profound and important than usual. You could be in the middle of some big life changes, so it's important that you express all of your thoughts, feelings and ideas. It's fine, of course, to keep some of it to yourself, though. Not expressing is a form of freedom of self-expression too. On the 5th and 6th, be sure to get out and have some fun. By the 11th, you're focused on relationships. This could well overlap with your professional activities -- whether you're a poet or a psychotherapist, relationships probably play a major role in your work. On the 16th, be careful not to exhaust yourself. You need to take time to recharge. By the 21st, you know what you want and how to get it. On the 24th and 25th, there's nothing you can't do. And you're having such a wonderful time doing all of it! On the 30th, you end the month with a busy day. Try to make a little time in all of the craziness to reflect on everything that's happened this month, emotionally and spiritually. You could be impressed!

In case you wondered, complete in haiku!

Best. Vacation. EH.
VER. Oh with the happiness.
Work? What work? When? Where?

We love thee Guinness
You of lovely thick goodness
Oh with the Advil.

Five-plus hours trip!
Boston on the hottest day!
Who runs in this sh*t?

Ev'ry Rose Has Its --
No. No. We don't kiss and tell.
But the geetar works.

Our favorite place.
Peace and coffee and relief.
Too bad we're sweating.



Monday Night Raw! Live!
We're too old for this! We know!
Heroes. Steriods. Ech.

U S A! U S!
Wait. Hacksaw is fighting a
guy from New York. Sh*t.



Yawn. Two matches. Two.
Damnit. Interviews again.
Too. Old. For. This. *Sigh*

Back to bar woohooo!
Miranda Lambert serve us
We love bartenders.

Ah. Walking is nice.
Ev'rywhere. Down to river.
Up. Down. Nice town, this.

Four hour drive home!
Whew. A day to detox booze.
Phils-Mets on? Beer please.

Friday Night Lights yay!
15 hours of goodness!
Oh pretty Lila.

Golfing! Fore! Duck!
We lost three balls on hole one.
We have new shoes, though.

Day 5 Phils-Mets game!
Phils up four! Two innings left!
Mets score five! F*ck! Sh*t!

Ah! There's Chase Utley!
We bought his shirt and nice with
the game-winning hit!



We believe in them!
OK. We don't really but
We hope and we pray.

FNL again!
Saracen is maturing.
No Smash! No drugs, no!

Whew. Geetar time.
Save Tonight. Practice. Dream. Play.
No autographs though.

YAY! Beach! Sunburn!
Water! Water in ears! What?
Can't hear you. Wax. Ew.

Panthers go'n win State!
We cried for the 15th time
We're OK with this.



And now sleep. Rest up.
Back to work! We can't wait! Yay!*
*We can wait. Hate. Work.